Tasty Nuggets, Week 8

Yes, posted after the fact... again. Bite me. For posterity's sake. The picks are for posterity's sake, I mean, not biting me.

Welcome to Week 8 of the Tasty Nuggets, now serving mediocre picks that are ACC-free.

Thlou Holth, your campy, folksy senile old man bit has grown tiresome & I can't wait until you catch pneumonia. Or go play shuffleboard in Boca like the rest of all the old coots. Stay away form Morty Schulzberger though, Thlou. That one's a scheister. And that Ethel Friedman. She's such a gossip!

Week 7 Quick Review

Hawaii -17.5 over San Jose St.
Hawaii 42, San Jose St. 35 OT
SU: Won; ATS: Lost; LOW: Lost

Texas Tech -8 over Texas A&M
Texas Tech 35, Texas A&M 7
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Oklahoma St. +4 vs. Nebraska
Oklahoma St. 45, Nebraska 14
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Kansas -25 over Baylor
Kansas 58, Baylor 10
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Missouri +10.5 vs. Oklahoma
Oklahoma 41, Missouri 31
SU: Won; ATS: Won

LSU -9 over Kentucky
Kentucky 43, LSU 37 3OT
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Georgia -7 over Vandy
Georgia 20, Vandy 17
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Miami (FL) -2.5 over Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech 17, Miami (FL) 14
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Notre Dame +14 vs. Boston College
Boston College 27, Notre Dame 14
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Illernoise -3 over Iowa
Iowa 10, Illernoise 6
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Weekly Record
SU: 7-3, .700
ATS: 5-5, .500
LOW: Lost

Season Record
SU: 43-27, .614
ATS: 31-39, .443
LOW: 3-4, .429 (higher avg. than Ted Williams' & Rogers Hornsby!)

Louisville -3 over UConn- Basketball, baby! Never nervous Pervis gonna win this one! Just like when he was never nervous against the 86 Dukies to win all the mawbles. Mawbles! Mawbles! Isuro Tanaka say Mawbles! What you say to dat, Jobu? You trying to tell me Jobu can't read a zone defense? Louisville 41, UConn 31




Rutgers +3 vs. USF- Da team dat CFN.com has labeled da "New U," faces last year's darlings, Rutgers. Who will win this matchup of former vs. current Hot Hot Hot? With increased exposure comes increased scrutiny & expectations. Sort of like running for national office. There's the of course well known story of how USF's football offices were once housed in a trailer but upon further investigation it's been found that USF's football program used Geico car insurance & got great rates & saved a lot of money which was then spent on gifts, I mean recruiting budgets. USF 21, Rutgers 20



Utah +3.5 vs. TCU- Utah's back with a brand new invention. It's called an uninjured Brian Johnson. He's got some Big Love for TCU coming this week. No I'm not going to make a Horny Toad reference. Utaht I was going to do that, admit it. I like Rubenesque women like Meat at the LSU-UF game. Utah 28, TCU 24



Auburn +10.5 vs. LSU- What sort of obligatory weirdness will this game bring this year? Let's see, we've done burning fieldhouses, sketchy refing, multiple INT TDs in the same qtr, smoking cigars at midfield... I vote for corndog missiles tossed at the Auburn sideline continuously throughout the game. They'll have so much cholesterol built up by the 4th qtr that Tommy Tuberville will confusingly attempt a trick play where Wes Byrum throws a pass... but it goes wide right... LSU 20, Auburn 14




Michigan -2.5 over Illernoise- Don't call it a comeback, Lloyd's been here for years! Momma said to knock Zook out! Momma say knock 'im out! It's simple, Hart plays w/o injury effects & Michigan wins this if no other reason b/c I say so. From now on Hart's Delta Chi name is Cheese. And Zook's is Urban. Zing! Pow! Kablamo! Michigan 23, Illinois 20 OT



Kansas -4 over Colorado- Carry on my wayward Jayhawks, there may be a Big 12 CG when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, don't you choke no more! Wooooooooooo! I'm listening to Black Sabbath right now which has nothing to do with Kansas other than I'm sure Ozzy puked there before. Kansas 27, Colorado 17



Florida -7 over Kentucky- Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, kiss of death, Tearbow! Here comes Andre Woodson! And like the other Woodson who was a Heisman candidate he'll steal it from an SEC guy! Wait, except he's one too... d'oh! Something about the hills make people burn couches after big wins. Be careful Tearbow, I think the UK are like the Bene Gesserit & are actively working against the Kwisatz Haderach prophecies being fulfilled again... Muad'dib!!!! Florida 28, Kentucky 20



Oregon -11 over Washington- I never saw a blue duck before. That's quacktastic. Man that Dixon cat at QB for Oregon is pretty a'ight. The battle for the Repbuclic of Cascadia National Championship. Cascadia is/was a proposed country consisting of Oregon, Washington, British Columbia & part of Idaho. You know what irks me? Columbia vs. Colombia. Pick one spelling, damnit! Oregon 38, Washington 24



Michigan St. +17 vs. Ohio St.- Anyone ever heard of the emo/indie band, Drive Like Jehu? Well meet, the grindcore band, Run Like Jehuu. Rogga rogga broooarrr gooor drugga dugga dugga duuuuuu rrrrrooooaaaarrrrrrrrrr. Sckrack kak skaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rrrrrrrrrroaoaoaoaoaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!!!! You try writing the onomatopeiac vocal style of death growls & metal shrieks! Ohio St. 27, Michigan St. 20



Penn St. -7.5 over Indiana- Hey Indiana, Hoosier daddy? It's JoePa "Trots" Paterno. Although I guess it'd be more like Hoosier grandpa? Despite having the trots on national tv, I envy Joe Pa since he'll obviously never get carpal tunnel or minimal arthritis since he will use a cell telephone or engage in that text phoning ebay stuff. Hey Joe you do know we put a man on the moon right? No that drunkard Kerry Collins doesn't count. he only thought he was on the moon. I got nothing, this week was weak. Get it? An alliteral pun! Penn St. 31, Indiana 17