Tasty Nuggets, Week 9

Welcome to Week 9 of the Tasty Nuggets... which went from mediocre, to a special Buster Poindexter batch of HOT! HOT! HOT! Picks!

"He, did they get after you last week?"

"Did who get after me last week?"

"Les' nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttssssssss."

With LSU & Corndog Nation having off week this week there is even more room for useless tomfoolery in the noggin this week than usual. So with that said my version of a Budweiser Real Men of Genius, Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football Coach.

Bud Light presents... Real Men of Genius...

(Real Men of Geniuuuuus)

Today we salute you, Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football Coach

(Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football COACH)

Trick plays, Going for it on 4th down inside your own territory, faking field goals, lining up RBs as QBs in some strategy that is either genius or truly insane

(Somebody give me a psychic evaluuuation!)

Who cares if you're down 14 & it's 4th & 12. You're going to fake that punt with a punter who runs a 5.1 no matter what

(No one would exxxpeeect IT!)

Game on the line? Who needs timeouts or field position to kick that winning field goal, just lob one up like a video game for the win.

(To Hell with the percentages!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Risk Taker, b/c you definitely put the sane in insane.

(Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football Coach)

Week 8 Quick Review

Louisville -3 over UConn.
UConn 21, Louisville 17
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost; LOW: Lost

Rutgers +3 vs. USF

Rutgers 30, USF 27
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Utah +3.5 vs. TCU
Utah 27, TCU 20
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Auburn +10.5 vs. LSU
LSU 30, Auburn 24
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Michigan -2.5 over Illernoise
Michigan 27, Illernoise 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Kansas -4 over Colorado
Kansas 19, Colorado 14
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Florida -7 opver Kentucky
Florida 45, Kentucky 37
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Oregon -11 over Washington
Oregon 55, Washington 34
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Michigan St. +17 vs. Ohio St.
Ohio St. 24, Michigan St. 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Penn St. -7.5 over Indiana
Penn St. 36, Indiana 31
SU: Won ATS: Lost

Weekly Record
SU: 9-1, .900
ATS: 8-2, .800
LOW: Lost

Sason Record
SU: 52-28, .650
ATS: 39-41, .488
LOW: 3-5, .375

Boston College +3 vs. Virginia Tech- The other Jesuits have found favor in the eyez of the Lord. I guess it can now be said that like the merchants who defiled Solomon's Temple conducting their business in it, so has Notre Dame defiled TD Jeebus by selling their soul to NBC for moolah. Pride- it is eventually everyone's downfall. Or women. Where was I? Boston was wher ethe Americna Revolution started even though many of the Colonist Separatists & early American leaders were from Virginia. But BC has an eagle for a mascot & the US' symbol is an eagle. B.C. 24, Virginia Tech 20

California +3 vs. Arizona St.- Riddle me this- if Arizona St. played nothing but man-to-man defense exclusively, would they have to change their name to Arimana? Get it? I said, get it? Cal's gone from the heights of being a national title contender to losing 2 in a row which proves once again, that God may give the ultra-liberals an enclave but he won't give them a nation. Cal 28, Arizona St. 27

Georgia +9 vs. Florida- An interesting case study this weekend or the dichotomy in QBs. On one hand you have the chiseled, muscular everybody's All-American Tebow & on the other side you have the tubby, chubby kid cum athlete in Stafford. Not sure which one's the yin & which one's the yang. I do know that Yang is what Chinese astronauts drink. Florida 27, Georgia 21

Florida St. -17 over Duke- Surely, FSU can beat Duke by 17, yes? Or has Jimbo Fisher's offense been X-ed out for the year. Get it? BTW, Xavier, it's pronounced "Eck-zav-yer" Lee, I have to give it to you for pushing the boundaries of pronounification. But why stop there? You should change your last name to "La-lee-ee." Incomplete pass on that play by Ecks-zav-yer- La-lee-ee... FSU 35, Duke 14

Ohio St. -4 over Penn St.- If you sat in a room & listened to a conversation between Tressel & Paterno, how many minutes would it take before you would die b/c of the boringosity? I'm an admitted Conservative but those 2 guys make me look like Liberace. I would give the edge to Paterno b/c of his Italian feistyness but the ending of the Sopranos sucked, so there. Ohio St. 23, Penn St. 17

USC +3 vs. Oregon- I like Oregon a lot for a Pac10 team but I've been around the block before. USC as underdog just screams to me the Secret Powers Who Control The World are setting you up for a fall if you pick Oregon & the pts. So with that said, I think Oregon lose. Get it? Ore-gon' lose. Ore gonna lose? Killjoys! USC 31, Oregon 28

Nebraska +21.5 vs. Texas- I learned something this past weekend. There are drawbacks to having HD tv. Every single blemish, birthmark, mole or skin splotch shows up in an interview. Tom Osborne looks OLD. I mean he looked like I just spent 15 yrs. in a Viet Cong jungle POW camp kinda old. He looked sickly. 3 TD underdog to Mack Brown? Yeah, right. Mack Brown is too much of a tactical buffoon to cover 3 TDs. Texas 28, Nebraska 17

West Virginia -6 over Rutgers- The West Virginia recipient of the Cecil Collins shady off field life scholarship, Noel Devine will be out due to "personal issues." Rutgers is coming off an "upset" of the now lighter Hot! Hot! Hot! Bandwagon known as USF. Which means Rutgers now loses b/c they're the Scarlet Knights & everybidy who ever played with GI Joes knoew that Lady J would kick Scarlett's a$$ easily. Plus Lady J was Tomboy Hot. West Virginia 31, Rutgers 24

USF -4 over UConn- Hot! Hot! Hot! has gone from Bandwagon Extradordinaire to just Bandwagon. But they're pesky enough to hang around just enough to create a Threat Level Yellow, possibly Threat Level Orange Clusterf*ck for the BCS at the end of the year. Nuke the BCS, NORAD! We want a playoff! USF 21, UConn 14

Ole Miss +17.5 vs. Auburn- Don't let last week's OMFG did Lesticles just do that again game fool you. LSU hung almost 500 yds. on Auburn's defense. Ole Miss got blown out of the water with a virtually QBless Arkansas team, which all adds up to "gotcho' a$$ & yo money" game being setup by Vegas. I know your tricks, Dewey, I know your tricks. And I ain't falling for them, ya bastage. Tuberville went home with 2 TOs in his pocket b/c Lesticles didn't play the percentages. That is the coaching version of pwnage. Insane, but pwnage none the Les. "None the Les?" That was Puntastic! Auburn 20, Ole Miss 7