US With Another 2-1 Win To Advance To CONCACAF Gold Cup Final

I missed the match because I thought it was coming on at 8 EST but in fact it came on at 7 CST so I didn't watch the end. Plus I also had a beer & wine drinking laundryfest but I DVRed it so I may watch tonight. Here's a report from FoxSports. Apparently the US squeezed by on a controversial tying goal waved off for Canada in injury time. 'Bout time the refs give us a call. Looks like my bicthing worked immediate voodoo dividends.

The Canadian coach, Dayne Bretzky, was fictionally quoted as saying,

"Aw gee, those hosers from the Sooth have no right to be gooing oontoo the final. They're just lucky we can't resort to broouhahas in sooccer. I'm soo mad I'll have to drink anoother case of Elsinore moore than I already would toonight to droown the pain."

So, the US goes on to face arch-nemesis, the Tricolore of Illegal Alienexico who was almost royally embarrased by losing to one of their former citizens turned immigrant housekeeper, Guadeloupe scoring a lone goal in the 70th minute . Hugo Sanchez on the game:

"Aye caramba y dios mio! My beans are so fried right now that I can't even digest my carne asada & guacamole taquitos. I would've thought that CONCACAF would've received the drug cartel bribes by now & would've already handed the Copa Oro trophy to Fruitworkerexico. I almost want to die or have Cuahtemoc Blanco teabag me & inject habanero into my eyes before I live with the dishonor of losing to some island named Guadeloupe who no one can even find on a map!

But we move on & it's hard ball time when we face the Gringos next match. We lose, we'll no longer export migrant farm workers, tacos, drugs, tuberculosis or leech the Gringo health care system & we will certainly no longer import Se Habla Espanolo!"

Thanks, Paco, we'll keep that in mind on sunday when we'll no doubt be absorbing all the usual Mexican elbows & knees tackles.

Lineups
Canada: Pat Onstad; Ante Jazic, Andrew Hainault, Julian De Guzman, Paul Stalteri; Ali Gerba (Issey Nakajima-Farran, 81'), Richard Hastings, Atiba Hutchinson, Dwayne De Rosario; Patrick Bernier, Martin Nash (Iain Hume, 64')

United States: Kasey Keller; Frankie Hejduk, Oguchi Onyewu, Carlos Bocanegra, Jonathan Bornstein; Michael Bradley, Pablo Mastroeni (Ricardo Clark, 89'), Landon Donovan, DaMarcus Beasley; Eddie Johnson (Benny Feilhaber, 80'), Clint Dempsey (Taylor Twellman, 88')

Goals
39' USA, Hejduk (Donovan)
45' USA, Donovan (PK)
76' CAN, Hume (Hutchinson)

Cards
20' USA, Bornstein
29' USA, Bocanegra
41' USA, Donovan
44' CAN, Onstad
60' USA, Hejduk
60' CAN, De Rosario
89' USA, Bradley