Been Awhile...

Bosco, clean those cobwebs. Stiny, remove this tumbleweed... and get me a danish!

And a belated Merry Highlightmas to all!:

No Playoff In Division I Sucks!

I'm freaking bored w/o college football!! Specifically SEC ball! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

UNBELIEVABLE

Holy crap... LSU has done it. We've snuck into the BCS Title Game.

Thank you, Pitt. Thank you, Oklahoma. Thank you, Parity.

FEAR THE HAT, suckas:




Thanks, Les:

Tasty Nuggets, Week 14

Listening to sports talk radio I was going to do some diatribe about how success has made the majority of LSU 's fan base spoiled at not even caring about going to Atlanta for a shot to be SEC Champs but I've decided against it b/c A. Nobody gives a $hit & 2. see pt. A. So, let's just all take a step back, catch our breath, vote Democrat next year & pat ourselves on the back & convince ourselves "we've made a difference," and then look on in confusion when the gas prices still don't drop below $2.50 & your take home pay decreases. "Uhhhhh we didn't tax you, Good Citizen, we um, uh, yes, we just um, increased your withholdings. Withholdings are not taxes, hmph hmph."

Then top that krap off with the rumors that Nick Saban may be re-hired at LSU & you've got one Angry Wolf. Ooooooh let's sell our integrity & dignity for 30 pieces of silver for another glimpse of that crystal foozball! Some story about a guy in a robe on a mountainside being tempted with all the kingdoms of the world by some evil dude comes to mind here. Zing! Pow! 2 Biblical references in 1 paragraph! Yippeee!

And now an Alexander reference- (Aristotle to a young Alexander): Be careful what you dream of. The gods have a way of punishing such pride.

Welcome to a short & legitimately angry Week 14 serving of the Tasty Nuggets.

Week 13 Quick Review

Arkansas +13 at LSU
Arkansas 50, LSU 48 (3OT)
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

Boise St. +4.5 at Hawaii
Hawaii 39, Boise St. 27
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Texas -6 at Texas A&M
Texas A&M 38, Texas 30
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Auburn -6 over Bama
Auburn 17, Bama 10
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Florida St. +14 at Florida
Florida 45, Florida 12
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Missouri +1.5 at Kansas
Missouri 36, Kansas 28
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Georgia -3 at Ga. Tech
Georgia 31, Ga. Tech 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won; LOW: Won

Clemson -2.5 at South Carolina
Clemson 23, South Carolina 21
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Uconn +17.5 at West Virginia
West Virginia 66, UConn 21
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Notre Dame +3.5 at Stanford
Notre Dame 21, Stanford 14
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Home Double Digit Underdogs
1. Syracuse +19.5 vs. Cincinnati, Lost
2. Pitt +10 vs. USF, Lost
3. San Diego St. +11 vs. TCU, Lost
4. Rice +12.5 vs. Tulsa, Won

Weekly Record
SU: 7-3, .700
ATS: 5-5, .500
LOW: Win

Season Record
SU: 89-41, .685
ATS: 66-63-1, .512 (thanks to Tony's due diligence in keeping a spreadsheet, he pointed out I had miscalculated my record early on)
LOW: 8-5, .615

HDDU: 8-10, .444

Arizona St. -7 vs. Arizona- The last state to ratify MLK Day as a state holiday offers up it's rivalry game. But who really cares since Arizona is about a decade away from being re-annexed by Mexico? Gee funny how nobody saw this coming. Arizona St. & Arizona will subsequently be re-named North Sonora St. & North Sonora. Will student athletes at these universities be then referred to as "undocumented" immigrants? Arizona St. 31, Arizona 21, Rule of Law 0, Mexico 2 more states.

Washington +14 at Hawaii- "Weird things happen when you go to the island." Yeah but not 14 pts. kind of weird. They mean weird as in catch an STD from the pool waitress kind of weird. Cue the as of yet unmade National Lampoon's Vacation: Hawaiian Paradise. Clark Griswold & the fam get into trouble when Clark visits a volcano & angers the locals by breaking an anicent Island taboo. Hijinx & hilarity ensue. Straight to DVD on March 4. Be the 1st to own Naitonal Lampoon's Vacation: Hawaiian Paradise. Cameos by Don Ho, June Jones, Colt Brennan & several Hawaii Independence & Seperatists groups. Hawaii 42, Washington 34

Tennessee +7.5 vs. LSU (Atlanta)- Who freaking cares, right? Bust out that rubber hose & tap that vein, Sabanites, b/c Saban's comin' back to town & he got that fix for ya. Well, call me stupid but I got a bad habit of always getting up when I get knocked down. Damn the Fulmer torpedos, full speed ahead. I don't give a flying Hat if I get shot down in a Blaze of Glory. LSU 37, Tennessee 35

Virginia Tech -4.5 vs. Boston College- Now that the Red Sawx have won 2 World Series it seems everybody's a freaking Red Sawx fan. Shove it ya Chowdah Heads, it still don't mean squat in terms of trying to offset the evil unleashed on the world in the guise of Ben Affleck. He has adversely Affleckted movies for the worse. Get it? I made a pun. Which sounds like gun which Virginia Tech doesn't like. Cho'nuff. Another pun. A heartless one. Ahhhhhh go sell ya SECCG tix on eBay & save your righteous indignation for somebody who cares. Virginia Tech 26, Boston College 21

Pittsburgh +28 at West Virginia- Say hello to the soon-to-be National Champs, the Mountaineers. Who even knew Mountains had ears. Why did I just capitalize mountains? Why doesn't "capitalize" mean "to create capitols." Stuff it, Alexander Ovechkin! Nobody cares about the Capitols! Everybody loves Sidney Crosby, aka Cindy Crosby, Princess of Wails. See how I made a roundabout way to get to a Pittsburgh reference? West Virginia 41, Pittsburgh 24

Home Double Digit Underdogs!
New Mexico St. +13 vs. Fresno St.
San Diego St. +15 vs. BYU
Stanford +13 vs. Cal
Army +14 vs. Navy

Tasty Nuggets, Week 13

Notre Dame was supposed to be the LOW! D'oh! Welcome to the quick & dirty post-gluttonous tryptohen intake festival edition of the Tasty Nuggets...

Week 12 Quick Review
Mississippi St. +11 vs. Arkansas
Arkansas 45, Mississippi St. 31
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Georgia -8 over Kentucky
Georgia 24, Kentucky 13
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Northwestern +13.5 vs. Illernoise
Illernoise 41, Northwestern 22
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

LSU -18 at Ole Miss
LSU 41, Ole Miss 24
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Notre Dame -5 over Duke
Notre Dame 28, Duke 7
SU: Won; ATS: Won; LOW: Won

Wisconsin -13.5 at Minnehaha
Wisconsin 41, Minnehaha 34
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Memphis -11.5 over UAB
Memphis 25, UAB 9
SU: Won; ATS: Won

USM -3 over UTEP
USM 56, UTEP 30
SU: Won; ATS: Won

ULM +25 at Bama
ULM 21, Bama 14
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

Ohio St. -4 at Michigan
Ohio St. 14, Michigan 3
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Home Double Digit Underdogs
1. Arizona +11 vs. Oregon, Won
2. BYU +10 vs. Wyoming, Won
3. Ole Miss +18 vs. LSU, Won
4. Baylor +14 vs. Oklahoma St., Lost
5. Army +15.5 vs. Tulsa, Won
6. SMU +12.6 vs. UCF, Lost
7. Minnehaha +13.5 vs. Wisconsin, Won


Weekly Record
SU: 9-1, .900
ATS: 5-5, .500
LOW: Win
HDDU: 5-2, .714

Season Record
SU: 82-38, .683
ATS: 59-61, .492
LOW: 7-5, .583
HDDU: 7-7, .500


Arkansas +13 at LSU- The Nutt is out in Arky, McFadden is off to the NFL at the end of the season & The Hat may be trading in the cap for a stocking cap. Not! In the Miles-to-Michigan next year story, it will be once again a piece of evidence that if the media repeats something often enough it becomes a fact to most people. I long for the days when nes was about what happened instead of what might happen... LSU 31, Arkansas 23


Boise St. +4.5 at Hawaii- Chaka Brah! Boy dat Haole ballslinger, Brennan got his bell wrung, bruh. Dat Blue Turf Broncos gonna beat dem Rainbow Warriors silly. I mean da history say Hawaii get conquered & now Hawaii wanna be in the BCS, bruh? Dem Mainlanders ain't gonna le tdem Islanders in dat BCS. Boise St. 57, Hawaii 55 (3OT)

Texas -6 at Texas A&M- Tuberville to A&M! From one ag school to another! Mack Brown will eventually get his a$$ handed to him by two coaches in the Big 12. Stoops & Tuberville. VY got a younger brother to save Mack's job & buy him another 5 years??? Texas 34, Texas A&M 24

Auburn -6 over Bama- Oh snap! Did dat Warhawk bus a nutt on you, Saban? UAB Pt. Deux! I told yo azzes, Bammers, exactly what you gonna git wit Saban- losses in the last minute & a loss to a team you shouldn't lose to! Booyahkuh nutz, Bammer b1tches! And now "Bama's mad! They gonna geat Auburn!" Whatever, there's that little matter that you suck! JPW < style="font-style: italic;">Auburn 21, Bama 12



Florida St. +14 at Florida- Despite Jenn Sterger defecting to Hot! Hot! Hot! USF, FSU will win ATS strictly b/c of the rivalry factor. Mainly b/c Papa Bobbay Bowden fails asleep in the 3rd & Jimbo & the other 145 head coaches at FSU's staff don't get their plans all foiled by Bobbay's meddlin'. Or Tim Tebow ravages Jenn Sterger all throughout the 2nd half like a trashy romance novel. Wear a rubber, dude. Florida 34, FSU 23


Missouri +1.5 at Kansas- Tigahs vs. Tigahs in da BCS Bowl! That way there'd be a 2nd game where analysts could, quip, "Well you know, Poser Show Host Guy, one thing is certain in this matchup, the winner will be the Tigers, ha ha ha... hun hmmpf hunh hah ha." (Cue douchey older white types slapping each other on the back impressed with their juvenilistic wit.) Missouri 30, Kansas 28


Georgia -3 at Georgia Tech- Georgia 2 straight over the spread! Mark Richt or Evil Helen Hunt Male Dude, has Chubby Stafford wheelin & dealin & runnin & gunnin. Psssst, Knowshown Moreno runs ANGRY. He scares me. Please, please, pretty please Tennessee beat Kentucky. No want face Evil Richt & Angry Moreno & Tubby Stafford. Georgia 27, Georgia Tech 14


Clemson -2.5 at South Carolina- Get your good vieiwing spots for the SS Sinking Spurrier. Gamecocks have petered out & are sinking fast. Raise your hands if you think Spurrier went home after Tebows 7 TDs against his Cocks & passed a pouyank in jealousy?? Clemson 26, South Carolina 21

UConn +17.5 at West Virginia- Rich Rodriguez distraction alert! UConn bet that Rich Rodriguez to Michigan rumor will get louder. And Rich doesn't even wear a funny hat. Or wear his hat funnily. Makin up words! Yeeeeeeehaw! That's such a pinnaclastic talent I have. There's another one! West Virginia 38, UConn 27


Notre Dame +3.5 at Stanford- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The Irish are an under dog to Stanford?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA Cheeburger cheeburger!! Emuburger emuburger!!! Beware Fightin' Irish! You're headed to California, Land of the Pacifists, so they're already lining up a court injunction & lawsuit in feigned outrage & righteous indignation at your "Fightin'" in the mascot name! Notre Dame 31, Stanford 21


Home Double Digit Underdogs!
1. Syracuse +19.5 vs. Cincinnati
2. Pitt +10 vs. USF
3. San Diego St. +11 vs. TCU
4. Rice +12.5 vs. Tulsa

Next Year...

This blogasmic blogocopia of blogtastic blogs will be better updated & consolidated. I promise. I tried to do too much with updates on all me teams but forgot one fatal error- I'm LAZY. Next year, as stated, I'll consolidate & mainly concentrate on Dem LSU Tiiiiiigaaaahs & the jokey jokes & maybe some snippets here & there of other teams I like with all my heart & body including my pee pee.

Oooh! And CD reviews! Yay! Hurrah!

Tasty Nuggets, Week 12

Welcome to Week 12 of the Tasty Nuggets, now longer & more annoying than ever!... On to the new state of America. The Home Run King of Baseball, probably the single most hallowed sports record in the land in a sport that is the National Pastime… gets indicted & is facing up to 30 yrs. in the slammer. Looks like Barry will be playing in pinstripes next year! Ba doomp pssh. But what an indictment, pardon the pun, of the current American society. So fitting to me. We worship celebrities like movie stars who aren’t even college educated & who do nothing but pretend to be other people for a living but somehow are to be trusted on pressing topics such as politics & climate change. And now, Barry Bonds b/c of his own drive & selfish desire to be the Home Run king is going to be taken down by the Feds. Barry, one thing you never, EVER do. You don’t tell the government to come after you, even if you were innocent, they’ll find something. If King Bush hated black people enough that he created a weather machine to make a hurricane powerful enough to drown New Orleans, why would he not send the Justice Department Gestapo to take down the Home Run King to save Babe Ruth’s legacy? Oppression at $20 million a year? Where do I sign up for it? Must be diamond coated shackles… (tongue removed from cheek)

Mmmmmmm left over sarcasm from lunch, with a side of satire. Yum!

Week 11 Quick Review
Arizona St. -6 over UCLA
Arizona St. 24, UCLA 20
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Georgia -1 over Auburn
Georgia 45, Auburn 20
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Kansas -5 over Oklahoma St.
Kansas 43, Oklahoma St. 28
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Kentucky -3 at Vanderbilt
Kentucky 27, Vanderbilt 20
SU: Won; ATS: Won; LOW: Won

LSU -36 over La. Tech
LSU 58, La. Tech 10
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Illernoise +5 at Ohio St.
Illernoise 28, Ohio St. 21
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

Texas Tech +6.5 vs. Texas
Texas 59, Texas Tech 43
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Florida St. +6.5 at Virginia Tech
Virginia Tech 40, Florida St. 21
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Arkansas pick over Tennessee
Tennessee 34, Arkansas 13
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Syracuse +16 vs. USF
USF 41, Syracuse 10
SU: Won ATS: Lost

Home Double Digit Underdogs
1. Army +19 vs. Rutgers, Lost
2. Utah St. +24 vs. Boise St., Lost
3. Duke +13.5 vs. Georgia Tech, Lost
4. North Texas +15 vs. Navy, Won
5. Temple +24 vs. Penn St, Lost
6. Syracuse +16 vs. USF, Lost
7. UAB +21 vs. UCF, Won

Weekly Record
SU: 7-3, .700
ATS: 5-5, .500
LOW: Win

Season Record
SU: 73-37, .664
ATS: 54-56, .491
LOW: 6-5, .545
HDDU: 2-5, .286 (HDD= Home Double-Digit Underdogs)

Mississipi St. +11 vs. Arkansas- Out from under the radar & onto the Nuggetdar. Get it? Will Nutt get Croominated? Mississippi St. is bowl eligible for the 1^st time since Calvin Coolidge was President. Not really but with Americans’ understanding of even American history most people would probably believe that anyway. Did anybody see the bi-plane flyover at the Mississippi St.-Arkansas game? Who even knew that planes had any sexual preference at all must less preferring to be bi. Is that like the former Princess of Wales, Lady Bi? Does the Croomroller rolls on crushing all in it’s path with it’s newly found Auburn way of winning games by scoring points without actually scoring points? Arkansas 24, Mississippi St. 15

Georgia -8 vs. Kentucky- Helen Hunt has gone from the girl next door to the local Jezebel. Mark Richt has gone all loopy & gotten down with sickness. The Sickness being trash-taking & emotional… OOA WAH AH AH AH! Kentucky finally woke up, realized basketball season was nigh & promptly started playing like, well, Kentucky. Willie Wildcat went out one morning to grab the morning paper. Attached to it was a note. It read, “Know Your Role, Kentucky. Sincerely, the rest of the SEC.” Willie then got all sad & went back inside & ate some mediocre lumpy grits. Georgia 35, Kentucky 24

Northwestern +13.5 at Illernoise- The Shot Your Wad Game. I guarantee Illernoise will have somewhat of a letdown after knocking of The Buckeyes. Northwestern which is ironically located in the Midwest, I now hardly anything about this year. Which is a perfect reason to include them in the picks. Tressel got ZOOKED. Did he think they were playing Florida again? Illernoise 27, Northwestern 21

LSU -18 at Ole Miss- Yeah, yeah, yeah, 2007 year of the Upset & all that other “weird” stuff that goes on. But come on, Ole Miss, we’re digging up[ Billy Cannon for this game. We’re gonna run run run right into embezzlement & racketeering charges. Times are a-changin’ With Bobby Jihad about to be governor, things are about to be some bon temps in Louisiana… hopefully… at least until Edwin Edwards is sprung from prison to become governor again. Put in Brent Schaeffaw, Coach O! That’d be a guaranteed cover. I mean covaw. Hyawhyawhyaw, fooball. Beat dat Orgeron & learn him why he shoulda never left the Bayou! LSU 34, Ole Miss 14

Notre Dame -5 over Duke- Charlie Cheesburger leads his forces to face perennial ACC doormats, Duke! Cheeburger cheeburger! Notre Dame sealed it’s fate when it sold its’ soul to NBC in the exclusive network deal. God has turned his back in on them ever since. Some story about Jesus getting all non-anger management & knocking over merchants’ tables in the Temple comes to mind. Hey, if forsaking anger management is godo enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me! No word, though if Notre Dame is going to level charges of rape & sexual assault against the Duke lacrosse team for groping Charlie Cheesburger’s foopa. Notre Dame 24, Duke 17

Wisconsin -13.5 at Minnesota- Who really cares here? Make your own stereotypes about cheese, gophers, Minnehaha & Lou Holth once coaching there & let’s move on. Nobody watches Canadian football anyway. Wisconsin 31, Minnesota 10

Memphis -11.5 over UAB- Smaller school special. A school in a city named after a ciy in Egypt faces a school with an abbreviation that looks like an English translation of ancient Sumerian. In fact, I have it on good authority from Zechariah Sitchin that “UAB” in Sumerian means “one who beats Saban.” No wonder! So, Zechariah, will Bama win a national title before the Annunaki return & re-enslave the human race? What will we mine this time? Memphis 30, UAB 16

USM -3 over UTEP- More abbreviation or acronym fantasticness! UTEP are the Miners. Remember having sex with a miner is against the law. As is giving alcohol to miners. People are considered miners until they’re 18 or for alcohol sales 21 & in some areas sexual goods & products 21 as well. Luckily, people, or teams, from Mississippi don’t have to worry about this b/c they only poke their relatives. B/c as you know, it’s all relative. USM 27, UTEP 23

Louisiana-Monroe +25 at Bama- That’s right! It’s the UAB beats Saban Sequel! Saban Slouches 2: ULM, the Suckness. The grumblings in Tuscaloser are already starting that Saban may not live up to his Saviorness of the 2^nd Coming of The Bear. Calvin from Green Hill already thinks Saban should’ve had 2 national titles for Bama by October. One things for sure though, John Parker Wilson is “teh svckness.” And he’s so aggravating b/c he obviously thinks he’s “teh hawtness.” Bama 41, ULM 17

Ohio St. -4 at Michigan- OMG! Buckeyes got ZOOKED. Like, wow. Like does Henne have the Hart to play through injury this week or will Mallett build himself a Mannigham to house himself against the Buckeyes D? That last one was an extreme stretch. It’sd so bad I’ll explain. I was trying to go for that song about “Build me a Birmingham.” Ok, ok, Will Lloyd get into his Carr after the game & drive off into the sunset of retirement causing Les to travel the Miles from Baton Rouge to Ann Arbor? Or will Michigan pluck Jim Harbaugh from Pac-10 exile & make him the new coach. Or will Lloyd get all JoePa in that Carr & run over his detractors into an upset win & another year of 9-2??? Ohio St. 27, Michigan 20

Home Double Digit Underdogs!
Arizona +11 vs. Oregon (WON!)
BYU +10 vs. Wyoming
Ole Miss +18 vs. LSU
Baylor +14 vs. Oklahoma St.
Army +15.5 vs. Tulsa
SMU +12.5 vs. UCF
Minnehaha +13.5 vs. Wisconsin

Tasty Nuggets, Week 11

Arizona St. -6 at UCLA- This games depends on if UCLA Jekyll or UCLA Hyde shows up. If it's Jekyll, ASU wins, if it's Hyde, UCLA wins... wait. Or is it the other way around? Ahhhh who knows, it's like trying to tell the Olson twins apart. Meaning trying to figure out which one has anorexia & which one has bulimia. Arizona St. 31, UCLA 24

Georgia -1 vs. Auburn- Ooooooh this became really intriguing with the Tuberville to College Station rumor with the Aggies gettind rid of Franchione. Hey, maybe Saban will bolt Tuscaloser for College Station a la Franchione? How awesome would that be? Where was I? Oh yes, Reign In Blood on the new Guitar Hero 3 is the shiznit. Georgia 28, Auburn 23

Kansas -5 at Oklahoma St.- This just in, Kansas just scored again against Nebraska. Sell all your property! Notre Dame is 1-8 & Nebraska gave up 76! The Apocalyspe is nigh! If anybody remembers the original Bill Walsh College Football on Super Nintendo, that Kansas team from 91 or 92 or whatever was a tricky little team to beat. That running back they had on there was pretty sneaky. Paper rock scissors chalk Jayhawk! Kansas 38, Oklahoma St. 28

Kentucky -3 at Vanderbilt- Kentucky lost to Gardner-Webb last night! Why they're playing foosball twice in a week is beyond me! 'Cept last night they played this funny lookin' 5-a-side indoor foosball with tiny goal posts. And no end zones! It was caaaaaaaarazy. Andrew Woodson didn't even play! No wonder they lost! Kentucky 31, Vanderbilt 24

LSU -36 over La. Tech- Da Tiiiiiiigaaaaahs go from beating Saban to beating a Saban acolyte in Derek Dooley who is quite the douchey. Hooray for Idiot Savants! This week I'd like to see The Hat run a double guard around reverse where both guards hand it to each other than flip it back to Flynn who pirouettes, does a triple axel & a salkow then flips it to Trindon Holliday who scores two on a drop kick from their own 18 yd. line.... on 2nd & 35. Now, that's crazy! Now gimme some, caaaaandaaaay. Damn, Halloween's over. LSU 48, La. Tech 10

Illernoise +15 at The Ohio St.- The Zook takes The Illini into The Horshoe to face The Ohio St. University. Not that one, but that one. No, That one. Yes, That one. The Tressel has The Buckeyes in The #1 spot. It looks like The Buckeyes will be playing in The BCS Title game in The New Orleans. The Zook is The Annoyance enough to cause The Buckeyes just enough of The Headache to almost pull off The Upset. The Ohio St. The 30, The Illinois The 24

Texas Tech +6.5 at Texas- Dad nabbit, I'm picking Texas to get upset until it actually happens! If Notre Dame is 1 & 13456 this year, why not? Just throw it Crabtree, Red Raiders! I didn't even know crabs grew in trees! I thought crabs came from STDs! D'oh! Texas Tech 35, Texas 34

Florida St. +6.5 at Virginia Tech- Jimbo & Papa Bowden last week took down BC, this week it might be VT, they play so fly all the kidz do that "you can't see me" hand gesture across the face. Which I'm doing right now, which means you can't see me. See, and for about 2 months I thought all these dudez were just doing PSAs on the importance off washing your face in the War Against Acne. Why not a War Against Acne? We've already fighting unwinnable wars on Poverty, Drugs, Terrorism & Climate Change. Virginia Tech 20, Florida St. 17

Arkansas Pick at Tennessee- I'm picking Humanity Advanced over Humanity Inbred. Does that make me a Nutt? Goo goo goo. The Vols are shockingly giving up 400+ ttl. yds. a game on defense. In fact, they're giving up more yds. than they're gaining this season. Arkansas should just completely forsake the forward pass, line up in the Single Wing or The Flying V, the football formation not the überawesome Gibson guitar model, & just run it with Humanity Advanced & Felix The Cat. No, not the Potvin Felix The Cat. Just get all 1920 on that Vol azz, Razorbacks! Run, run, run!!! Arkansas 28, Tennessee 27

Syracuse +16 vs. USF- Hey Cinderella, it's 12:18, time's up, skank. What's that, 3 in a row now? South Florida like all One Hit Wonders has gone the way of all the Kajagoogoos, Falcos, Cutting Crews, Chumbawumbas & Nenas before them, they burn out & fade away in a supernova of brilliant almost greatness & are then left to smolder in the embers of cult hero dwarf star status. And that's no bull. Get it? Orange you glad I made that joke? Do you know the brain power it took to pull a Cutting Crew reference from the depths of the memories?? Jim Nabors should've been in Kajagoogoo BTW, then they would've been called Kajagoogoogoogoogoogoogoogoogoo USF 28, Syracuse 16

Knock Knock! I Keel You!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Viva le Infidel Humor!!!

Saban Bowl I Goes To LSU

That funny taste in your mouth this week, Saban is... LESTICLES! Yeah boy! Penalty plagued & turnover riddle LSU defeated the Bear Bryant High Sabans on saturday 41-34 in yet another soon to be one for the ages games.



Neutral fans must like LSU games a ton with all the excitement & drama built into the games but we LSU fans are getting anxious with all this Aerosmith, Livin' On The Edge gameplay. But then again, we can't help ourselves at all, I guess. A wah ga ga gaooooowwww!!!

And here's my parting shot, Saban & Bama Nation, listen to the words carefully, Bammer:




Can't you see what you have wrought here?
Bloody battles will be fought here

May the mountains rise against you
May the forests block your path
May your axes chip and shatter
And know it is My Wrath
I would mount your heads on the bloody spears
Outside your palace gates
And watch as crows peck out your eyes
And your cities are laid to waste

Can't you see what you have wrought here?
A curse on you and all your kin
Bloody battles will be fought here
Await your doom at empire's end
May the wivers rush to drown you
Nay the earth swallow your hosts
May the winter's wolves surround you
And rip the life from your throats

Ok, so the song should be called Winter's Tigers! Everything can't be perfect, people!

Tasty Nuggets, Week 10

"Derrick is sayin the fight dont end til u die B*CH" -
Derrick Odom, A Letter From Derrick To The Chumps, ca. 2007

"Derrick is trippin on how these fools try to run up on u behind ya back when they know they cant f*k wit
u 1 on 1 but he got something that will shut all that sh* down" -
Derrick Odom, A Letter From Derrick To The Chumps, ca. 2007

And thus the Gauntlet was thrown down to Darth Saban by now former Tiger, Derrick Odom, who no doubt has been trained in the the mixed martial arts form known as "Internet Tough Guyate" In fact, he is known in the ITG world as MC Refers To Himself In 3rd Person When Makes Threats, or his screen handle "crthi3pwmt69."

And he's soon to release his new EP with North Gate Souljahs feat. MC DO on Tigah Boyz Records called The Hat Can't Fade Me! (Saban's a B1tch!). Here's an excerpt from da slammin 1st single The Fight Don't End (Til U Die, B*tch)

Like foolz at da Varsity

Everybody wants a parts of me

And try ta ruin my flava

When I run my game

Now lil Nicky come aroun

Sayin how he built dis town

But we all know it's

Da town that made his name

Talkin all dat noize

Down playin ya old boyz

And now in my anger

I'm stahtin' ta feel'a twitch

He rolls wit da tide

My anga won't subside

One thing's forever true,

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(Wick wicka wick)

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch! [angry chorus]

(We comin atcha Saban!) [threatening indiv. testimonial]

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(Can't run from da North Gate Souljahs!)

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(The Hat has yo azz marked!)

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(225 represent!)

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(I'm Derrick Odom ! I'm ruthless!)

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(70803 gonna go carazy on you!)

The fight don't end til u die, b1tch!

(Outro with a crazy instrument that doesn't fit but strangely works in a rap tune, like say, ummmmm, a dulcimer, yeah, that's it a dulcimer. A ducilmer is hot hot hot!)

Welcome to Week 10 of the Tasty Nuggets...

Week 9 Quick Review

Boston College +3 at Virginia Tech
Boston College 14, Virginia Tech 10
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Cal +3 vs. Arizona St.

Arizona St. 31, Cal 20
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Georgia +9 vs. Florida
Georgia 42, Florida 30
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

Florida St. -17 over Duke
FSU 25, Duke 6
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Ohio St -4 at Penn St.
Ohio St. 37, Penn St. 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won; LOW: Won

USC +3 at Oregon
Oregon 24, USC 17
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Nebraska +21.5 vs. Texas
Texas 28, Nebraska 25
SU: Won; ATS: Won

West Virginia -6 at Rutgers
West Virginia 31, Rutgers 3
SU: Won; ATS: Won

USF -4 vs. UConn
UConn 22, USF 15
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Ole Miss +17.5 vs. Auburn
Auburn 17, Ole Miss 3
SU: Won ATS: Won

Weekly Record
SU: 6-4, .600
ATS: 7-3, .700
LOW: Win

Sason Record
SU: 58-32, .644
ATS: 46-44, .511
LOW: 4-5, .444

South Carolina +4.5 at Arkansas- Reason #15,864 why I'm crazier than you, thoughts like this roll around in my head- Why doesn't President Clinton show up at Razorback athletic events anymore? Wow! Looking at the list of natable alumni on Arkansas' website, who knew Pat Summerall was a Razorback alum?? Little known fact about this bit of info- nobody cares. South Carolina 23, Arkansas 21

Nebraska +17.5 vs. Kansas- Hahahahahahahaha, I've seen it all now! LSU win a national title, I got out of credit card debt, people making excuses & giving rights to illegal aliens, etc. And now Nebraska a 17.5 pt. under dog... to Kansas!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha Ok I take that back, I haven't seen it all. 2 things are left- 1. The Saints in a Super Bowl & B. a dyslexic, transgendered Inuit midget becomes president. Kansas 35, Nebraska 20

Texas A&M +20.5 Oklahoma- I dunno why, just b/c, ok? B/c A&M plays Canadian football with that 12th man thing, ok? Maybe, that's why! Or b/c the iPhones are taking over the world!!!! Ahhhhhhh iPhones ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Oklahoma 41, Texas A&M 21

Oklahoma St. +3 vs. Texas- Here's your "upset" special of the week. Just as the sideline reporter will be interviewing Matthew McConaughey-hey for 18th time & someone somewhere around the country undoubtedly makes the umpteenth Wooderson reference, the Pokes win the game by kicking an oblong ball through a giant H. Most exhilirating. When you think of garbage, think of Akeem. When you think of obtuse references & quasi-funny bits, think of Chuckles. Oklahoma St. 27, Texas 24

LSU -7.5 over Bama- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll fall flat out on my face for this one probably but just remember I'm falling flat on my face with Nick Saban's picks. The man who went from not being able to outrecruit Michigan to a recruiting genius takes on his former employer who he allegedly made even though he himself acknowledge the wealth of talent in the state of Louisiana when he took the job in the 1st place. Chicken, meet egg. Oh & BTW Finebaum, don't mistake my hatred for Bama having anything to do with St. Nick. I despised, had enmity, raged against, deplored, hated, soat at thee from the deepest darkest pits of my soul against Bama loooooooooooong before Saban was even a coach at Toledo much less when he was at LSU. Also, make no mistake, Finebaum. LSU's unhealthy "schoolgirl crush" & preoccupation with Nick Saban" is much more reasonable & sane than the pathology of Bammers worshipping a dead drunk who twisted the recruiting rules like a pretzel. So, in conclusion, F*CK YOU, BAMA. LSU 30, Bama 21

Missouri -4 over Colorado- Well, Missouri certainly has shown themselves to be a pretty good team. Which is nice since they're from the Show Me State. Get it? Get it? That's so ironic. But this is all a mute point b/c I'll be in Tuscaloser this weekend & will be too busy drinking beer & taunting the literacy & vocabulary skills,or lack of, of Bammers. More uselss info & speculation: I bet a guy named Chaz is the kind of guy that carries around an iPhone downloading all the hottest ringtones & games right to your fingertips. Missouri 35, Colorado 24

Clemson -16 over Duke- Duke had their best shots at winning a conference title when they had Steve Spurrier & JJ Reddick. Both are since gone. Tree Rollins is gone from Clemson too but they still have too many weapons. Speaking of weird, besides me, am I the only one who thinks Tommy Bowden could also pass for Tommy Tuberville's cousin or brother too? They're both named Tommy, I wonder if they're related? Clemson 35, Duke 13

Air Force -16 over Army- Look out! Air Force now throws the ball! Which is actually unfiar since Army is inherently doomed to the gorund game being infantry & all that. Except that the Air Force was spawned from the Army Air Corps post-WW II. WW II. I like when old war vets refer to as World War II as either "The Big One" or "W-W I-I." Hey, spekaing of post-WW II we still have troops stationed in Korea for the ramifications of the Korean War, some 50-odd years ago. Why doesn't the news media write about the "quagmire" in Korea? Or refer to Iraq as another Korea? Turn the news off & do some actual thinking. Just saying.... Air Force 31, Army 14

Arizona St. +7 vs. Oregon- I would like to take this opportunity to remind people that the ASU Devil mascot makes me think of that deviled ham brand of potted meat with the devil logo. Hey speaking of "deviled" foods. You would think the Devil's culinary interests would be geared towards things like infant human intestines & hearts. Cream of soul soup. Or pickled eyeballs. Stuff like that. Menacing, real scary horrific stuff. Not eggs with paprika on them. Ooooooh, scary, Satan, paprika on eggs! Ahhhh, I fear for my mortal soul! Oregon 27, Arizona St. 24

Fresno -20.5 vs. Utah St.- Fresnois a farming community?? Really?? They have farms in California? What kind of crops grow in Cali? Skateboards? Outlandish hair dye? Silicon implants? Computers? Ooooh I betta stop making fun of Cali before Ahnold Da Gohvinator terminates me. Oooooh, I'm no Running Man! I call your bluff! I Total Recall that bodybuilding is not the same as being a good fighter! You're a fake Predator! You'll be the 1st & Last Action Hero to be governor! John Wayne would've kicked your a$$ after smoking a pack of Marlboros, the unfiltered kind, then washed it down with some good bourbon & would've made you say "pilgrim" for each knuckle sandwich he fed you. Yes, even if his real name was Leslie. Fresno St. 38, Utah St. 7

A'ight, Bobby!

Bayou Bobby

A new governor offers hope for disaffected Louisiana expats.

BY ROD DREHER Friday, October 26, 2007 12:01 a.m. EDT

Alas for me, I didn't get to cast a vote for Bobby Jindal, the winner of last weekend's Louisiana governor's race. It's been 15 years since I left the Bayou.

The last time I voted in a gubernatorial contest there, it felt less like a civic duty than an occasion of sin. I pulled the lever for Democrat Edwin W. Edwards--instead of my fellow Republican, David Duke--following the instruction of the bumper sticker on my car: "Vote for the Crook. It's Important."

That evening, I went to a party in Baton Rouge, attached myself to a keg of Budweiser and talked long into the night about how, four years after electing the supposedly reform-minded governor Buddy Roemer, it had come to this. I was only two years out of LSU and, like just about everybody I knew then, wanted to move away. What future did any of us have in a state where the choice was either a blow-dried Ku Klucker or an oleaginous Cajun kleptocrat? (As the joke had it, the Wizard or the Lizard?)

I soon left for Washington, D.C., a new job and a new life. Many years later, in an online discussion about the fate of the state, I read that a well-known New Orleans journalist, having lost hope in his family's future there, stood in the middle of his newsroom to announce his resignation. He said that he loved the city dearly but couldn't raise his children in a town that cherished parades more than libraries. Framed that way, you can understand why so many Louisianians choose to expatriate, but never quite get over leaving.

Louisiana has been at or near the bottom of "quality of life" lists for so long that you start to believe that there's something genetically wrong with its residents. For 15 out of the past 17 years, Louisiana has been either America's Least Livable State or runner-up in the annual Morgan Quitno research firm's comprehensive rankings, which combine educational, economic, health, environmental and crime statistics. No wonder Louisiana has for at least two decades experienced a steady out-migration of young professionals.

You notice something, though, when Louisianians meet in exile. Everybody misses home and will take any opportunity to talk about it. Our friends--Yankees, mostly--get the biggest kick out of our honest-to-God tales of Bayou State life (political and otherwise). My wife, a native Texan, confessed that when we first started dating, she thought my stories about my homeland revealed me to be a pathological liar--until I took her there to see for herself. She visited my Uncle Murphy's grave and saw the headstone he'd won playing bourré (a Cajun card game) with an undertaker. He had it inscribed with the epitaph: "This ain't bad, once you get used to it."

Louisiana makes a lot more sense if you read the beloved picaresque "A Confederacy of Dunces" as an exercise in literary naturalism. There's simply no place like Louisiana. You will not find more generous and life-loving people anywhere, and Lord knows, you won't eat or drink better. It's hard to get over that. But you do, mostly. Last Sunday, I ran into a couple I know at a Krispy Kreme shop here in Dallas. We got to talking about the Jindal victory, and the wife, a non-native who had fallen in love with Louisiana as a Tulane student, said warmly that she'd love to move back. The husband gave her a look that telegraphed, "Yes, we all would, dear, but come on."

Despite all the sentimental longing for LSU Tigers tailgating and the scent of Zatarain's crawfish boil on your fingers, moving home rarely crosses the minds of us expatriates. Louisiana is a great place to be from, but the sense of fatalism that pervades life there casts doubt on whether it will some day be great place to be. In Louisiana, to be educated is to love the state and hate the state--and, for many, to leave it.

Here's the thing about Bobby Jindal: He didn't leave for good. He came home. With his Ivy League and Oxbridge education and his startling smarts, he could have gone anywhere and nobody back home would have blamed him. In fact, he is the epitome of the kind of Louisianian who emigrates to Dallas, Atlanta and points beyond--driving around with an LSU sticker on his bumper.

But he didn't. The guy actually seemed to think he could make a difference in Louisiana. He got involved in government at age 24 and stuck with it. He ran for governor in 2003 and lost to Democrat Kathleen Blanco. When the Katrina hurricane aftermath destroyed Ms. Blanco's career, Mr. Jindal's loss came to look like a blessing in disguise. Anyway, after what Katrina revealed about the chronic dysfunction of the state, how crazy would a politician have to be to think he could straighten out a place like that?

Well, now we know. This unlikeliest of all Deep South politicians, a squeaky-clean Gen-X son of Indian immigrants, a policy wonk and Catholic convert who, as a child, adopted a nickname from a "Brady Bunch" character, just got himself elected. In his victory speech, Mr. Jindal exhorted a jubilant crowd of supporters: "I'm asking you to once again believe in Louisiana." That's asking a lot.

As it happened, the night Mr. Jindal won I was having dinner in Henry County, Ky., with the farmer and agrarian poet Wendell Berry and a group of his conservative admirers. Earlier in the day, we'd heard Mr. Berry talk about how we Americans educate our children today for outgoing, not homecoming, and what a shame that is. We'd been talking about what kind of country we'd have if folks decided to stay home and learn to love their little place.

That night, my father woke me up phoning from St. Francisville, La.. "Jindal won tonight!" he said, tickled to death. So did the Tigers, but I don't think he even mentioned football.
I haven't lived in Louisiana in a long time, but this election makes me proud and hopeful--two emotions unfamiliar to exiled Bayou Staters. And the promise of Mr. Jindal's leadership makes me wonder, for the first time since I packed up the U-Haul and drove off, if maybe I--and now, my children--have a future in Louisiana.

Yes, I know, reform-minded governors (and their supporters) always come to grief in our wizardy, lizardy banana republic. Yes, I'm fully aware that Louisiana is bound to break your heart. And yes, I live happily in Texas. But you know what? My governor is a Hindu Catholic Republican, and I think he's going to write the next great Louisiana story. Maybe just this once, it's not going to be a farce.

Mr. Dreher is a columnist for the Dallas Morning News

Tasty Nuggets, Week 9

Welcome to Week 9 of the Tasty Nuggets... which went from mediocre, to a special Buster Poindexter batch of HOT! HOT! HOT! Picks!

"He, did they get after you last week?"

"Did who get after me last week?"

"Les' nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttssssssss."

With LSU & Corndog Nation having off week this week there is even more room for useless tomfoolery in the noggin this week than usual. So with that said my version of a Budweiser Real Men of Genius, Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football Coach.

Bud Light presents... Real Men of Genius...

(Real Men of Geniuuuuus)

Today we salute you, Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football Coach

(Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football COACH)

Trick plays, Going for it on 4th down inside your own territory, faking field goals, lining up RBs as QBs in some strategy that is either genius or truly insane

(Somebody give me a psychic evaluuuation!)

Who cares if you're down 14 & it's 4th & 12. You're going to fake that punt with a punter who runs a 5.1 no matter what

(No one would exxxpeeect IT!)

Game on the line? Who needs timeouts or field position to kick that winning field goal, just lob one up like a video game for the win.

(To Hell with the percentages!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light Mr. Risk Taker, b/c you definitely put the sane in insane.

(Mr. Riverboat Gambler Football Coach)

Week 8 Quick Review

Louisville -3 over UConn.
UConn 21, Louisville 17
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost; LOW: Lost

Rutgers +3 vs. USF

Rutgers 30, USF 27
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Utah +3.5 vs. TCU
Utah 27, TCU 20
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Auburn +10.5 vs. LSU
LSU 30, Auburn 24
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Michigan -2.5 over Illernoise
Michigan 27, Illernoise 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Kansas -4 over Colorado
Kansas 19, Colorado 14
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

Florida -7 opver Kentucky
Florida 45, Kentucky 37
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Oregon -11 over Washington
Oregon 55, Washington 34
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Michigan St. +17 vs. Ohio St.
Ohio St. 24, Michigan St. 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Penn St. -7.5 over Indiana
Penn St. 36, Indiana 31
SU: Won ATS: Lost

Weekly Record
SU: 9-1, .900
ATS: 8-2, .800
LOW: Lost

Sason Record
SU: 52-28, .650
ATS: 39-41, .488
LOW: 3-5, .375

Boston College +3 vs. Virginia Tech- The other Jesuits have found favor in the eyez of the Lord. I guess it can now be said that like the merchants who defiled Solomon's Temple conducting their business in it, so has Notre Dame defiled TD Jeebus by selling their soul to NBC for moolah. Pride- it is eventually everyone's downfall. Or women. Where was I? Boston was wher ethe Americna Revolution started even though many of the Colonist Separatists & early American leaders were from Virginia. But BC has an eagle for a mascot & the US' symbol is an eagle. B.C. 24, Virginia Tech 20

California +3 vs. Arizona St.- Riddle me this- if Arizona St. played nothing but man-to-man defense exclusively, would they have to change their name to Arimana? Get it? I said, get it? Cal's gone from the heights of being a national title contender to losing 2 in a row which proves once again, that God may give the ultra-liberals an enclave but he won't give them a nation. Cal 28, Arizona St. 27

Georgia +9 vs. Florida- An interesting case study this weekend or the dichotomy in QBs. On one hand you have the chiseled, muscular everybody's All-American Tebow & on the other side you have the tubby, chubby kid cum athlete in Stafford. Not sure which one's the yin & which one's the yang. I do know that Yang is what Chinese astronauts drink. Florida 27, Georgia 21

Florida St. -17 over Duke- Surely, FSU can beat Duke by 17, yes? Or has Jimbo Fisher's offense been X-ed out for the year. Get it? BTW, Xavier, it's pronounced "Eck-zav-yer" Lee, I have to give it to you for pushing the boundaries of pronounification. But why stop there? You should change your last name to "La-lee-ee." Incomplete pass on that play by Ecks-zav-yer- La-lee-ee... FSU 35, Duke 14

Ohio St. -4 over Penn St.- If you sat in a room & listened to a conversation between Tressel & Paterno, how many minutes would it take before you would die b/c of the boringosity? I'm an admitted Conservative but those 2 guys make me look like Liberace. I would give the edge to Paterno b/c of his Italian feistyness but the ending of the Sopranos sucked, so there. Ohio St. 23, Penn St. 17

USC +3 vs. Oregon- I like Oregon a lot for a Pac10 team but I've been around the block before. USC as underdog just screams to me the Secret Powers Who Control The World are setting you up for a fall if you pick Oregon & the pts. So with that said, I think Oregon lose. Get it? Ore-gon' lose. Ore gonna lose? Killjoys! USC 31, Oregon 28

Nebraska +21.5 vs. Texas- I learned something this past weekend. There are drawbacks to having HD tv. Every single blemish, birthmark, mole or skin splotch shows up in an interview. Tom Osborne looks OLD. I mean he looked like I just spent 15 yrs. in a Viet Cong jungle POW camp kinda old. He looked sickly. 3 TD underdog to Mack Brown? Yeah, right. Mack Brown is too much of a tactical buffoon to cover 3 TDs. Texas 28, Nebraska 17

West Virginia -6 over Rutgers- The West Virginia recipient of the Cecil Collins shady off field life scholarship, Noel Devine will be out due to "personal issues." Rutgers is coming off an "upset" of the now lighter Hot! Hot! Hot! Bandwagon known as USF. Which means Rutgers now loses b/c they're the Scarlet Knights & everybidy who ever played with GI Joes knoew that Lady J would kick Scarlett's a$$ easily. Plus Lady J was Tomboy Hot. West Virginia 31, Rutgers 24

USF -4 over UConn- Hot! Hot! Hot! has gone from Bandwagon Extradordinaire to just Bandwagon. But they're pesky enough to hang around just enough to create a Threat Level Yellow, possibly Threat Level Orange Clusterf*ck for the BCS at the end of the year. Nuke the BCS, NORAD! We want a playoff! USF 21, UConn 14

Ole Miss +17.5 vs. Auburn- Don't let last week's OMFG did Lesticles just do that again game fool you. LSU hung almost 500 yds. on Auburn's defense. Ole Miss got blown out of the water with a virtually QBless Arkansas team, which all adds up to "gotcho' a$$ & yo money" game being setup by Vegas. I know your tricks, Dewey, I know your tricks. And I ain't falling for them, ya bastage. Tuberville went home with 2 TOs in his pocket b/c Lesticles didn't play the percentages. That is the coaching version of pwnage. Insane, but pwnage none the Les. "None the Les?" That was Puntastic! Auburn 20, Ole Miss 7