The Holiest Symbol In All Of Coreyana

Behold! The All-Powerful Tri-Corey!

All Your Coreys Are Belong To Us!

And God said, "Let there be Coreys!..."

CHUCKLESPALOOZA 2007!

The biggest Extravaganza in the short history of Castille Du Chatelain will commence on the morrow, Saturday, the 21st day of July in the year 8 KBR (King Bush's Reign).

Superboombastirrific Shrimp Berl starting at 6 PM at Chuckles' Casa & lasting til X. Fun times for all! My nipples are getting hard in anticipation already! Even my pee pee is tingling! Wooooo!

Vodka, Scotch, Beer, oh my!

CHUCKLESPALOOZA!

Show up & drink & partake of offerings lest ye anger the wolf!

Krikey Poo!

Galavision didn't have the US U-20's QF match vs. Austria like I thought! Poopola! So I have to follow the match on USsoccer.com's MatchTracker. Exiting shit to watch text scroll! Woo little icons make it fancy! Yeeeeaaaaaaaaah.

Halftime US & Austria are all square- 1-1. Altidore put the US in front on a header off a cross from Adu & Austria tied it just before the half on a ricocheted shot from a Kraut Lite naturalised African. Strange days indeed! Most peculiar, Momma.

So in the pissy mood w/o being able to see the match, other stuff:

What's the Phillipines have to do with Palestine?

The truth about a t-shirt icon. What's that in the article? Che Guevara hated blacks & gays? Tell that to the dictator chic t-shirt wearers on college campii next time you see one of their ignorant asses with his likeness on a shirt that hasn't been washed in 2 weeks. Wow & the execution of minors? But it was for the people! Viva la revolucion! Viva la Cuba! Muerte a publica non gustan Castro lo!

Seriously, Castro & Guevara suck major balls. If Cuban health care & Cuba in general is so fcking great, why do Cubans risk shark infested waters year in & year out to defect to the US & why do Cuban athletes defect a lot of times when they play in the US? Any logical answers, Mr. Glover? Belafonte? Bueller?

And finally... Yasser Arafat dying of AIDS? And possibly a bisexual pedophile? Didn't know there was a PLO branch of NAMBLA! Bwaha! BTW, Abu Ammar is Yasser Arafat's real name so don't get confused when reading the article. He changed his name to Yasser Arafat when he was a student in Egypt so as to make his own mark out form under his uncle's (or was it his father?) shadow who was one of the Mufti's that ran an Arab Nazi SS corp & was a close ally to Hitler & is alledged to be one of the key proponents & suggestors in finalizing Hitler 's "Final Soultion of the Jewish Problem."

The Real Cause Of GlobAL Warming

Researchers have discovered the true cause of GlobAL warming this morning:

Hell hath no fury like a Live Earth Concert scorned!

Scientists at We Don't Really Know But We'll Report Like We Know Labs, an independent research laboratory, have just released visual evidence of what they claim to be the real cause for global warming. The head researcher on the project, Ly Ying Prik, said of the evidence:

Dis da howtest we seen Aw Gowe since da erection fiasco of 2000. Gwain of sawt to be taken wit evidence b/c we onwy been studying Aw Gowe fow a fwew yeaws & accuwate wecowds of Aw Gowe onwy been kep sin 1998.

Proponents of the report have said that this new evidence will be a momentous step in the battle to combat global warming... or climate change... or cow burping... or whatever it is that is actually causing whatever it is that is actually going. Some of these researchers also think the genetically defective way a Liberal brain is wired also may lead to global warming or believing in global warming:

Fear & Self-Loathing In Las Cabellas

Opponents of the research have offered these countering pieces of evidence:

I cry when animals die b/c they remind me of a puppy I had once that was run over by an SUV, so obviously the environment is important to me. - Eliza Beth Green, Monterrey, Calif.

Shut up, stupid. That's like so like a photoshop of Al Gore, yo. - Haley Harris, Burlington, Vt.

You're a Nazi. If you don't believe in global warming than you probably rape babies. - Jason Giltzberg , Greenwich Village, NYC, NY

Bush lied, 1000s died in Iraq. Bush lied so his oil company CEO cronies can harm the environment with their Oilapalooza & corporations raping of Mother Gaia. - Harmony Meadows, Corvallis, Ore.

I'm like 40 now & I sweat a lot more than when I was a child & the world was idyllic b/c I'm holding onto some lost Eden myth in my head when in actuality my childhood idyllic world was nothing but stickball games on a concrete street & I didn't notice the heat b/c I was 10 & could run all day hopped up on soda & ice cream anyway. - Joey Antonini, Brooklyn, NY

I don't care that it snowed in Buenos Aires for the 1st time in 89 years. That's not "proof" that the globe isn't getting warmer b/c Bush's Weather Machine propagated by the NSA & wiretapping of environmental activists thatch huts could have easily created that snow by stealing it off Antarctic glaciers & dropping the snow from black ops helicopters that go undetected & unseen b/c of reverse engineered alien spacecraft that was also helped to be built by Bush's cronies in the Illimunati & the banking world. Oh yeah, I don't know how but Israel's treatment of the Palestinians causes global warming too. Free Tibet! - 'Peace Prophet,' San Francisco, Calif.

Yes, I will from now on listen to science experts such as Camoron Diaz, Melissa Eartheridge & Leonardo Di Caprius chastise me for burning fossil fuel & heating my apartment when they're able "offset their carbon footprints" of their Leer & Gulfstream jets, their multi-roomed mansions & ridiculous energy bills which amounts to nothing more than buying off their guilt of these excesses. I would just love to be able to leave my "carbon footprint" in Lieonardo Di Caprick's ass by breaking my foot of in it.

Viva le SUVs!

Viva le fossil fuel burning!

Hidden Meaning In Metallica Song Title?

Hmmmmm, perhaps there was something more nefarious in Metallica's song title, Enter Sandman, than the implication of a bogeyman that visits you in your nightmares? Perhaps it was a veiled reference to Taliban doings! Yoinks! Shame on you, James Hetfield!

NCAA Football's 7" LBer

Look at him go!

In The Footsteps Of Similar Greats...

Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning ending her grueling 30 day jail stint. Much like other great figures in world history who were jailed such as Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Mike Tyson, 50 Cent, etc. Paris Hilton endured her arduous sentance & can now go return to her duties as leader of a generation.

Ohmigod, you guys, you don't know what torture is until you like spend a few days in jail & you have to eat jail food & ohmigosh there was even a couple times where I saw a roach. It was so disgusting, you guys. And like they make you wear this hideous clothing like what a homesless person would wear & they don't even give you any designer grooming products. So don't go to jail if you like, don't have to, you guys, it's so not hot.

Paris, what are you going to do on your first day of freedom?

Ohmigosh, there is so many things I have missed in my long stay in jail. Like I'm going to go run out & buy all the Prada I can & then I'm going to go on like a weekend long binge of ice cream but still puke it up you guys, don't worry & then like I'm going to go visit O.J. to see if he has any advice on the post-jail experience & like how to get on with your life & stuff. Ohmigosh, you guys, I also forgot I'm going to have like a huge party & you can all come, even like the people I would normally turn down or give "as if!" to in a club & we're gonna have the bestest time evER, you guys. Oh & I'm also going to go smoke some weed & snort some lines b/c they didn't have any of that in prison either! Well, not any stuff that I do. Snort impure stuff? As if! Not hot!"

Paris, do you have any further advice or words of wisdom that this situation has tuaght you that you may want to pass on to younger women?

Be nice to drug addicts & homeless people & criminals because you may end up with them in jail one day. Also, make sure you're pretty and if you can, be famous too, so you like get a different justice than like poor people and stuff. Oh, and like next time if this happens again, I'm like going to go get that lady teacher in Florida's lawyer b/c he got her no jail time for like raping boys & stuff & she was pretty too. So I guess that's what I would say- be pretty & rich & like turn a smile upside down or something & be nice to the judge & swallow if he bribes you to get out of jail. I just gave him head & he still sent me to prison, you guys.

I Am The Man

Every Girl Crazy 'Bout A Sharp Dressed Man!

How on Earth am I still single? B/c I seem to be The Man. I'm always winning XBox 360s & iPods & the lowest home mortgage rates around in my e-mail inbox. Not to mention I've been given $30 million from nice Nigerian businessmen 6 times, twice from associates in Burkina Faso & this last time from the Senegal. So I'm loaded too.

Not to mention I get all these hot babes wanting to be my friend in MySpace everday! It's weird though, they always have the same profile description & "Tom" is usually their only friend or they have only dudes as friends. No matter, it's obviously me they want b/c of my luck prowess with all the Xbox winnings & the windfall from Nigeria & western Africa.

You suckas wish you had my life. Here's my 2 dates for the evening. Ahhhhhhhh... it's good to be the king!

Which one of you hotties wants to play with my Xboxes 1st?

A Toast Is In Order!

Just passed the 500 mark on profile viewed on MySpace! Holy moley! What an accomplishment! I feel so satisfied, so content, so sarcastic...

In other news, I have a crush on the Obama girl, Amber Lee Ettinger, who has a crush on Obama. Naughty littly brunette nymphs, you get me every time, it's not fair.


The U.S. beat El Salvador wednesday night, 4-0. Didn't see the match, no report from me, no ratings but they face Panama this afternoon at 4 EST in the Gold Cup QFs. That match I'll most likely watch.

http://www.yanks-abroad.com/content.php?mode=news&id=3171

Unfortunately for an MSU South Croominator buddy of mine, his Bulldawgs lost their CWS opener last night to the Tar Heels of UNC, 8-5. I don't know when they're elimination game is, Sunday possibly.

Arsenal have signed Norwegian teenage defender Havard Nordveit. No doubt one for the youth & reserve teams for now.

Have You Had Your Daily Blessings Of Drinking The Prophet's Urine?

Not only does it have a zippy, tangy taste that all pedophilic, megalomaniacal conquerors can enjoy, but it also soothes your damned soul from the tortures & temptations the jinn may inflict upon you... Drink straight for maximum effect...

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/12/world/middleeast/12fatwa.html?_r=3&hp=&oref&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

So run down to your local market, kill some Jews & enjoy the Prophet's Urine.

Side effects may include amorous feelings towards camels, affinity for sandy areas, the condition known as "Jihad Jimmy," hatred of women & delusions of Paradise

The Prophet's Urine, so many uses!

Congratulations, Steven & Amy!

Steven and Amy Naul

A good friend of mine got married last friday in an absolutely beautiful resort named El Dorado Royale on the Riviera Maya in Mexico. People if you have chance to go to this place at some point- GO! You'll thank me later!

Made some new friends too...

DJs Creamy Smooth & Vaquero Madero

Amy & Steven enjoy their 1st post-nuptial smooch

Amy & Steven in a hurry to consummate the marriage

Rare appearance of Led Zeppelin with 5th member, Angry Wolf (kneeling)

Female hard rockers, L7, also made an appearance

Guns 'N' Roses showed as well, seen here waiting on Axl per usual

Oasis with new Jewish singer, Seamus O'Rosenberg (2nd from left)

Even the President of NBC made a brief appearance

World's 1st All-Girl Gangsta Group, Charleez AK-Angelz
wowed the crowd with their handgun filled stage show

Royal Couple of Liechtenstein, Lord Kyle Du Discount
& Lady Andrea Du Room Service

Kid Rock & entourage chilling at the Casitas pool


Steven confronts a paparazzi

Kings beds... where the magic happens

And... the star of the show... Whitney, the Wedding Donkey

What My Name Would Be Under The Spanish Naming Convention

Corey Hazel Jerald Frederick Jefferson Lorraine Louise Chatelain Perrodin Simon Pizzolotta

My only question is- what exactly is my last name/surname here? Chatelain? Perrodin? Simon? Pizzolotta? Yoinks!

Sean Avery Facts, Edition #5

81. Sean Avery once won a gold medal in every single Olympic event in both the summer & winter games.

82. When Hinduism refers to the Supreme Person having 16 parts, they are referring to Sean Avery.

83. Streetworkers don't actually use jack hammers to breakup concrete, Sean Avery just punches it.

84. Sean Avery has lived 16 times before as: 1. Buddha, 2. Moses, 3. Jesus, 4. Richard the Lionheart, 5. William Wallace, 6. Charlemagne, 7. Julius Caesar, 8. Napoleon Bonaparte, 9. General Patton, 10. Alexander the Great, 11. Tutankhamen, 12. Achilles, 13. Michael Jordan, 14. Wayne Gretzky, 15. Babe Ruth & 16. Billy the Kid

85. Sean Avery was the 16th person to sign the Declaration of Independence.

86. Global warming is accelerated when Sean Avery gets pissed off.

87. Sean Avery built the Great Wall of China in 1916.

88. The U.S. Department of Sean Avery is a department started to trash talk to other crappy nations which includes all of them except for the U.S.

89. The U.S. Air Force didn't drop an atomic bomb on Hiroshima or Nagasaki in 1945. They dropped 2 water balloons filled with liquid distilled from Sean Avery's anger.

90. When something's strange in your neighborhood, don't call Ghostbusters, call Sean Avery.

91. The starship Enterprise boldly goes where no man has gone before but Sean Avery boldly pwns where no man has pwn3d before.

92. The 1st extraterrestrial message received & translated simply stated, "Sean Avery Rulez."

93. Sean Avery built the Great Pyramid at Giza in 16 B.C.

94. Sean Avery could fix the leaning tower of Pisa, he just doesn't feel like doing it.

95. Shooting 16 under par in golf is called "shooting a Sean Avery."

96. A 16 cent piece is called a Seanie

97. A Sean Avery stone of measurement is 16 lbs.

98. Seanuary is the 16th month of the year.

99. Averymas is a holy day that is celebrated on Seanuary 16th & is the holiest day of the year in Averyianity.

100. Sean Avery led the Averyites out of Egypt in 1616 B.C.

Sean Avery Facts, Edition #4

61. Most people have 5 senses, lucky ones have 6th sense, but Sean Avery has 16 senses.

62. George W. Bush was not always the idiot some claim he is. Sean Avery bodychecked him once in a pickup hockey game & President Bush has never been the same since.

63. Sean Avery taught both Jimi Hendrix & Stevie Ray Vaughan how to play guitar.

64. Sean Avery has the 16th highest GNP (Gross National Product) in the world.

65. Adolf Hitler didn't commit suicide, Sean Avery killed him with a bodycheck.

66. Synthesized amino acids from Sean Avery can cure wimpiness.

67. The Pope takes orders from Sean Avery.

68. Sean Avery defeated Roy Jones, Jr. the only time they've ever fought.

69. Sean Avery was the 16th President of the United States.

70. It is impossible to look directly at Sean Avery. If you attempt it, he will check you.

71. The M-16 assault rifle was named after Sean Avery's number.

72. Sean Avery has 16 girlfriends whom are all hot.

73. Sean Avery was born in a Bethlehem manger 1600 years ago.

74. Sean Avery is the 16th richest person in the world.

75. Sean Avery has been elected mayor of his hometown 16 times.

76. Sean Avery invented sex so that the rest of us would have something to be happy about.

77. You can block a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick if you're Sean Avery.

78. Dynamite is made from Sean Avery's blood.

79. Sean Avery's sweat could provide for the US' energy needs for the next 16 centuries.

80. Sean Avery knows when you've been naughty or nice.

Sean Avery Facts, Edition #3

41. Sean Avery lives in the 16th Dimension.

42. Sean Avery taught John Bonham how to play drums.

43. Black Sabbath wrote Sabbath Bloody Sabbath in honor of a Sean Avery performance on the Sabbath.

44. Sean Avery is Todd Fedoruk's daddy.

45. They say that 'no man is an island,' but Sean Avery is not a man, he's the Shiznit.

46. Sean Avery solved Pi.

47. The most famous Bible Verse is Avery 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Shiznit, Sean Avery."

48. Sean Avery ended the Cold War when he checked Russia on it's ass.

49. A Sean Avery guitar has 16 strings.

50. Sean Avery won Super Bowl XVI all by himself.

51. When Sean Avery messes with a bull, he does not get the horns, the bull gets the Shiznit.

52. In the field of Theoretical Shiznit Physics, the unifying element of the Universe is Sean Avery.

53. Sean Avery is the 16th planet of the Solar System.

54. One unit of Sean Avery length is 16 inches.

55. A Sean Avery style building has 16 floors & 16 columns.

56. When Sean Avery lived in Los Angeles it was called 'Los Averyes'

57. Sean Avery was not born, he spontaneously came into being after a massive check.

58. U.S. nuclear powered submarines are really powered by sweat taken from Sean Avery

59. We all exist at Sean Avery's whim.

60. Sean Avery has never lost a fight.

Sean Avery Facts, Edition #2

21. There is no Illimunati or New World Order. It is Sean Avery that secretly runs the world.

22. Sean Avery invented heavy metal.

23. Sean Avery ran the Moors out of Spain all by himself.

24. Sean Avery invented bodychecks.

25. The US Air Force's F-16 fighter is called The Fighting Sean Avery.

26. It takes 16 wins to win the Stanley Cup b/c Sean Avery's number is 16.

27. 4 is the square root of Sean Avery.

28. Tornadoes are caused from the turbulence of Sean Avery flipping the bird.

29. Joe Montana wore the number 16 for the 49ers only b/c Sean Avery let him.

30. The $16 bill has a picture of Sean Avery on it.

31. Sean Avery owns 16 Ferraris

32. Half of 32 is Sean Avery

33. Sean Avery was the 16th state admitted to the Union

34. Sean Avery was his prom's homecoming king 16 times

35. Sean Avery invented hockey

36. When the going get tough, the tough emulate Sean Avery

37. All your things are belong to Sean Avery

38. Avery, New York Ranger was a television show cancelled b/c of its' graphic content. Walker, Texas Ranger was the watered down version that was aired

39. Sean Avery has laughed in the face of Death 16 times

40. Sean Avery was the Pharoah of the 16th Egyptian Dynasty

Which One Is Which?

I can't tell whom is who?! Both have boyish good looks, hynoptizing goofy smile, both believe in Xenu (or maybe only one, but who really cares?)

Which one is Tom Edwards and which one is John Cruise?

Tom Edwards or John Cruise?

John Cruise or Tom Edwards?

If Tom Edwards can tap into the women-who-voted-for-Clinton-b/c-they-thought-he-was-good-looking demographic, Tom Edwards can maybe upset both Hillary Obama & Barack Clinton to win the '08 Presidency

Sean Avery Facts, Edition #1

1. The sound of thunder is created when Sean Avery checks another player

2. 3 out of 4 dentists agree that Sean Avery would knock your teeth out, the 4th dentist is just a Devils fan, so he's stupid anyway

3. Sean Avery has slept with every woman in the world & most of them on Mars, Jupiter & Neptune

4. Sean Avery holds the vast majority of the NHL scoring records as "Wayne Gretzky" is a pen name of Sean Avery

5. Sean Avery is listed as a WMD by the United Nations

6. Sean Avery will hunt down & punch in the face anyone who dares say "this list of Sean Avery facts on this Chuckles' blog is just a ripoff of Chuck Norris bit"

7. Sean Avery is Chuck Norris' daddy

8. Sean Avery taught both Bruce Lee & Chuck Norris karate

9. Things that are afraid of Sean Avery- Death, Fear, Hurt, Pain & Dudes with girlfriends

10. Tim Tebow is a false god masquearading as having the powers of Sean Avery

11. Sean Avery invented the Internet & kicked Al Gore's ass for claiming that he had.

12. There was no atomic bomb detonated at Hiroshima, it was just Sean Avery throwing a bodycheck into the Japanese city that casued it to incinerate

13. U.S. Attorney positions exist at the whim of Sean Avery

14. The Great Wall of China was built in a feeble attempt to keep out Sean Avery

15. Heavier than air travel doesn't actually exist, things "fly" b/c Sean Avery throws them

16. Sean Avery single-handedly won World War I

17. You wouldn't like Sean Avery when he's angry

18. E = Sean Avery

19. Sean Avery invented the number 16

20. On the 16th day, God created Sean Avery

On A Lighter Note... Lucky Bastard & Other Drivel

Some dude in England gets married to a chick he randomly texted after dreaming about her number:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070409/od_nm/britain_text_dc

Kudos, to you, Sir. At least some of us are finding some love in the world!

Also, am I the only one who thinks Joakim Noah & that androgynous wimp from American Idol, Sanjaya, look alike? They perhaps even could be the same girl. You decide:

Joakim Noah

Sanjaya Malakar

Which, of course means, that if Sanjaya wins American Idol this year, it'll be further proof of the University of Florida conspiracy to win everything:

1. 2005-2006 NCAA D-1 Basketball National Championship

2. 2006 NCAA BCS National Championship

3. Emmitt Smith winning Dancing With The Stars

4. 2006-2007 NCAA D-1 Basketball National Championship

5. Sanjaya Malakar winning American Idol

Developing story...

UPSET!: Pelosi Pips Rodham Clinton To Become 1st US Woman President

Stop the presses. In one of the most unexpected upsets of all-time, Nancy Pelosi has beaten Hillary Rodham Clinton to being the 1st woman president of the US in history. President Pelosi marked her shocking victory by taking a "diplomatic" trip to Syria to meet with some Syrian leader who probably beats his wives.

President Pelosi used the trip to make a marked turnaround of US foreign policy towards Syria which had previously been shunned by the former Bush Administration & opened "diplomatic" dialogue with Syria. The US had previously declined diplomatic relations with Syria under the Bush Administration b/c of Syria's alledged backing of Hamas, which as everybody knows is a fast food chain that only serves food to beautiful, angelic children who do nothing but laugh & fill their parents' lives with joy & wonderment. In a surprising turn of events however, the US has turned 180 degrees with Syria with President Pelosi now calling the shots.

President Pelosi was quoted as saying, "I'm so glad to have this opportunity to mend wounds & heal the burned bridges of our relations on Syria. It's time we forget the sins of the present past done to us & to move forward facing backwards with appeasement & cowardice. I want to thank Babar Al Ibn Wathufuq of Syria for his most gracious & welcoming dialogue with the myself & the US... Eat me, Hillary. I won, you lose. You are pwn3d!"

Senator Clinton could not be reached for comment as she was off on a junket to Oakland learning hip hop lingo so as to continue the Clinton legacy of being the 1st Black President(s) & being able to relate to black people, but her spokesperson later released a statement saying, "You can guarantee Queen Hillary has Pelosi squarely in her sights now. The 1st reign of a woman president of the United States of America was ordained by none other than the all powerful Creator himself. Mrs. Pelosi has gone against the will of the people, the nation, black people, indeed Creation itself. The hounds of Hell are being prepped, it's almost time to hunt. This is war."

President Pelosi... on the lookout for Hell Hounds... and black people.