Next Year...

This blogasmic blogocopia of blogtastic blogs will be better updated & consolidated. I promise. I tried to do too much with updates on all me teams but forgot one fatal error- I'm LAZY. Next year, as stated, I'll consolidate & mainly concentrate on Dem LSU Tiiiiiigaaaahs & the jokey jokes & maybe some snippets here & there of other teams I like with all my heart & body including my pee pee.

Oooh! And CD reviews! Yay! Hurrah!

Rangers Play Atlanta Tonight

All the ladies can find me at Mother's tonight watching college foozball & Rangers' hockey. On dat HD tv. Boy, dat's fancy stuff dat HD is. So clear. Like clarity.

Rangers have gotten off to a so-so start with their record being 2-3 after 5 games. Curiously it's been their offense that's struggled a bit early in the season with the defense & specifically King Henrik Lundqvist playing well only allowing more than 2 goals once, 3 in a loss to Ottawa in their last game.

Hopefully the 4 day break will give the Rangers plenty of jump in tongiht's game & time to have gained some more cohesiveness on offense. Let's Go Rangers!

NHL action! It's puckin' awesome!

* * * * * * * * * *

On football world soccer variety, the Unied States beat Switzerland yesterday 1-nil in a friendly. Michale Bradley, son of head coach Bob Bradley, scored the winner late in the game after some good work down the right side & keeping the initial clearance in by Maurice Edu.

Overall the United States played ok & the rain on the fast pitch didn't really allow either team to get into a groove for any extended portion of the game.

It was the 1st time the US has won on European soil since the fall of the Holy Roman Empire or something.

There was almost a brewhaha before halftime with Oguchi Onyewu & Marco Streller of Switzerland with a little push & a fall & a lot of hands out in the "what I do?" gestures.

Freddy Adu also came on as a late substitute for only his 2nd cap. Danny Szetela made his international debut as well.

-- U.S. Men’s National Team Game Report --
Match-up: USA vs. Switzerland
Date: October 17, 2007
Competition: International Friendly
Venue: St. Jakob Park – Basel, Switzerland
Kickoff: 2:30 p.m. ET
Attendance: 16,500
Weather: 64 degrees; rain

Scoring Summary: 1 2 F
USA 0 1 1
SUI 0 0 0

Scoring:
USA – Michael Bradley (Clint Dempsey) 86th minute

Lineups:
USA: 24-Marcus Hahnemann (18-Brad Guzan, 46); 6-Steve Cherundolo, 22-Oguchi Onyewu (2-Dan Califf, 46), 3-Carlos Bocanegra (Capt.), 7-Eddie Lewis (9-Danny Szetela, 84); 5-Benny Feilhaber, 13-Maurice Edu, 4-Michael Bradley,17-DaMarcus Beasley (11-Heath Pearce, 31); 20-Taylor Twellman (25-Freddy Adu, 77), 8-Clint Dempsey (29-Robbie Findley, 90)
Subs not used: 23-Jay DeMerit
Head Coach: Bob Bradley

SUI: 1-Pascal Zuberbühler; 2-Johan Djourou (25-Steve Von Bergen, 17), 3-Ludovic Magnin (Capt.), 5-Xavier Margairaz (22-Hakan Yakin, 46); 11-Marco Streller (31-Blaise Nkufo, 46), 13-Stephane Grichting, 14-David Degen, 16-Tranquillo Barnetta (17-Christoph Spycher, 75), 27-Gokhan Inler, 29-Stephan Lichtsteiner, 35-Fabio Celestini (33-Gelson Fernandes, 46)
Subs not used: 12-Diego Benaglio, 37-Germano Vailati
Head Coach: Jakob Kuhn

Stats Summary: USA SUI
Shots 9 8
Shots on goal 5 3
Saves 4 3
Corner Kicks 3 4
Fouls 25 16
Offside 3 0

Misconduct Summary:
SUI – Marco Streller (caution) 45th minute
USA – Oguchi Onyewu (caution) 45.
USA – Maurice Edu (caution) 53.

Officials:
Referee: Frank de Bleeckere (BEL)
1st Asst.: Peter Hermans (BEL)
2nd Asst.: Danny Huens (BEL)
Fourth Official: Nicole Petignat (SUI)

Sierra Mist Man of the Match: Carlos Bocanegra

Other Sports Quick Update

New York Rangers' new season starts on Thursday evening against the Florida Panthers. The Rangers have finalized their opening roster & I'm glad that both Marc Staal & Ryan Callahan made the 1st roster for the opening season!

No surprises in net as King Henrik & Valiquette make the team as netminders. Montoya probably would've made it except for the cap hit he'd entail for the Rangers if he made the roster.

Hopefully the Rangers can build on their late season success & go beyond their 2nd round exit to Buffalo last year.

It's almost GO time!

* * * * *

Arsenal have already played 7 EPL matches & somewhat surprisingly have 6 wins & a draw to head the EPL heading into October.

Without Thierry Henry who was sold off to Barca in August too. A case of addition by subtraction perhaps? No doubting Thierry Henry was obviously one of the best strikers in the world during his time at Arsenal but the Gunners also had a propensity to rely too much on his goalscoring perhaps. So now with him not in the side maybe it's a case of the younger Gunners stepping up & assuming more of the leadership & goalscoring roles, especially Cesc Fabregas.

They've also made a great start in the Champions' League by beating other favorite in their group to advance, Sevilla, 3-0 & face Romanian side Steaua Bucharest tonight.

All goalz are belonging to Cesc Fabregas

Tasty Nuggets, Edition 3

After getting hammered like Ted Kennedy in a gin distillery last week it's time again to pretend I know what I'm talking about & faking it good enough to sound just like da people on ESPN who know just as little but are on da ESPN like Tigah Wooooods & his dadday.

Week 2 Quick Review:

Virginia Tech +13 vs. LSU Won/Lost/Lost (Hurrah! Glad I was that wrong)

Bama -4 over Vandy, Won/Won

Auburn - 7 over USF, Lost/Lost

Boise St. -3 over Washington, Lost/Lost

Troy +27 vs. FLorida, Won/Lost

Michigan -6 over Oregon, Lost/Lost

TCU +9 vs. Texas, Lost/Lost (Didn't realize they were ESPN's "sexy" pick of the week otherwise I'd've taken Texas)

UNLV +25 vs. Wisconsin, Won/Won

BYU +8.5 vs. UCLA, Won/Lost

UAB + 33.5 vs. FSU, Won/Won

Weekly Record:

SU: 6-4

ATS: 3-7

LOW 0-1

Season Record:

SU: 14-6 (. 700)

ATS: 9-11 (.450) 1st time under .500 vs ATS in 3 1/2 years, I think

LOW: 1-1 (.500)

TCU -8 over Air Force- Horned Frogs will bounce back against Air Force as the Academy are the underfalcons, I mean the udnerdogs in this one. The only reason TCU played so poorly against is they were ESPN's upset special sexy pick last week which was a sure kiss of death. Oh yeah well that & b/c Texas is still a pretty good despite struggling in their 1st game. Has Air Force finally abandoned the triple option? Not a good idea with all those slow white guys, eh, FIsher DeBerry? TCU 27, Air Foce 13

Other people's sexy picks kill you every time...

Arkansas +3.5 at Bama- Saban's honeymoon ends. One of the 14 national title awards ready to go will be trashed but Bammers will still enjoy their Crimson solipsism regardless, so who cares? "Arkansas ain't done got no QB," they say. Well they still have Casey Dick who is no doubt a Dick, he almost led an upset of LSU 2 yrs. ago, so maybe Roscoe P. Nutt can find some voodoo witchy woman for some gris-gris to drop on Bama. Arkansas 24, Bama 17

Earlene, you done said Saban was as good as The Bear!

Auburn -13 over Mississippi St.- Hey, if Auburn's going to keep struggling when I pick 'em, in the long run, fine with me since dem WarChickens can go fly around & poop on Saban for all I care. I don't give a hoot which is made by owls & owls have nothing to do with WarChickens except I hit an owl with a car last year & da sumb1tch lived, so they some tough birds. Auburn 31, Mississippi St. 14

The Owls have spotted you... you're screwed, WarChickens

Colorado +4 vs. Florida St.- Interesting game since it involves two I-A football teams, bruther. It ain't intermurals. I don't know why but I smell an upset in this one.... although would it really be an upset if Colorado beat FSU in Boulder? Colorado 27, Florida St. 21

FSU offense... maybe it IS like intermurals...

Middle Tennessee +42 vs. LSU- I ain't ready to drink the kool-aid just yet. Yes, LSU looked like world beaters last saturday as my neighbors can no doubt attest. They can probably tell you who the White Rhino is since I screamed it enough. TO hell with the neighbors though, they should've been more friendly anywho. But I'm not ready to drink the kool-aid just yet since I need to see if LSU's performance was top 10%er or it's going to be a average Bell Curve performance. Make me a believer, Mr. Flynn!!! LSU 42, Middle Tennessee 10

LSU Football +2 standard deviation or a mean score last week?

Kentucky +6.5 vs. Louisville- 1st of the Mid-Major powers fall this week. Depending on what happends & if teams knock each other off, Kentucky has a dark horse shot to win the East. Believe it. Although this game would be even awesomer if they had a halftime battle between who had the better horses, Lexington or Louisville. Hyaw!.. Louisville will lose to the 1st team that remotely has any sort of defense. Kentucky 34, Louisville 31

Dark Horse, starring Kentucky

Michigan -7.5 vs. Notre Dame- Seriously, people think Notre Dame has a shot in this one? Notre Dame has -8 yards rushing on the year. Yes, you read that right. Notre Dame has ZERO offensive TDs this year. You read that correctly too. Notre Dame's only TD has come on an oskie return. Yes, Michigan is 0-2, yes, they're playing w/o Henne but this may be a good thing for Michigan actually since Henne has look hesitant for the last year & half anyway. W/o the meddling spirits of Touchdown Jeebus & the Golden Dome Illimunati, Emu Clausen will have a nice game but nice is for nieces & kindergartens... P.S. TOM ZBIKOWSKI IS THE SINGLE MOST OVERRATED PLAYER IN THE COUNTRY. PERIOD. Michigan 24, Notre Dame 13

Overrated, a biography on Charlie Weis.

Texas -19 over UCF- What's better? Austin City Limits or Disney World? Exactly, Austin City Limits. Gee, watch Stevie Ray Vaughn's performance from a 1984 Austin City Limits or stand in line for 2 hours with a bunch of snot nose brats? Duh. Texas 35, UCF 10

SRV > Disney World

USC -10 over Nebraska- I dunno, this game just reeks of blowout to me. USC will be out to stop the burgeoning "LSU is a werewolf with a chainsaw for a hoo-ha" talk & Nebraska has struggled, especially Sam Keller who has 2 TDs & 3 INTs & will be facing a defense far better than the previous 2 he has faced. Wait, what am I doing? Real football anaylsis? WTF? Ok, ok, Condoms with swords will slice the Cornhuskers & shuck them from their husks & eat them before moving on to slay Christians in the Coliseum while everybody drinks wine & shtoops everything in the Roman way. Boy dose, Romans were some randy cusses. USC 38, Nebraska 17

Even the pope likes the Trojans in this game

Tennessee +7.5 vs. Florida- I'm probably completely wrong but you should definitely stop at the 2nd partaking of yuccus (sp?). Unlike Tebow who can just live & play off pure desire & the hopes & prayers of Gator Nation, I can't. That yuccus will give you a major 3 day hangover & that as they say in Russia is "teh suck." And of course Tebow will eat Fulmer's donuts & Fulmer is still a phat phuck. Battle to see which shade of Orange is the least 5uckest. Florida 35, Tennessee 31 (2OT)

Orange, it's not just for citrus anymore...

I don't have a poll or tiers this week b/c frankly, I don't wanna. You wanna poll, go fishin'.

After Dinner Mints Edition 2

Oh yoy yoy, bad week this week. Rotten nuggets. I think I'm the one who needs the mint this week. Although all that went on this past weekend, it was the kind of week I'm glad I was wrong in several instances!

Bama -4 at Vandy
Bama 24-10
SU: Won; ATS= Won
The Messiah got some Crimson stew simmahrin' in Tuscaloser. National Championship headlines on the printing press are already getting ready to be printed in some scary, delusional corners of Bammerland. Beware, Bammers like Paul Muad'Dib, The Kwisatz Haderach Nick Saban will foresake you one day & leave mysteriously.... Dune references! Old skewl dorkery, suckas!

Auburn -7 over USF
USF 26, Auburn 23 OT
SU: Loss; ATS= Loss
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah WarChickens got beat! And that's no Bull! Well, it was, actually, many of them. Cox played like he likes Cocks giving out his balls to Bulls all night long. I also enjoyed The Riverboat Gambler, Tommy Tuberville folding his cards in a show of wimpery there at the end of the 4th WITH timeouts in his pocket. Nice move, Tuberville. Give a team that's had trouble moving the ball all night long an automatic short field to work with. Awesome.

Boise State -3 over Washington
Washington 24, Boise St. 10
SU: Loss; ATS: Loss
Nice work, Smurfs. It's a bit different playing when winning is expected of you isn't it? Or was Dr. Z that big of an influence??

Troy St. +27 at Florida
Florida 59, Troy St. 31
SU: Won; ATS: Loss
1st narrow loss of the season. Poop. Gators picked up a lot of niggling injuries at the skill positions which makes this weekend's matchup with the Vols interestingly interesting in the interesting sort of way, interestingly enough.

Virginia Tech +13 at LSU
LSU 48, Virginia Tech 7 ZOINKS!
SU: Won; ATS: Loss
Dear God, I'm glad I was wrong on this one. Wrong by a 34 pt. margin, mind you. Holy crap I wish I could plagiarise this opening line for my own! Yeaaaaaaaah boy! VaTech got thumped & made to look 2nd rate. Especially the... um, well, actually the whole team.

Michigan -6 over Oregon
Oregon 39, Michigan 7
SU: Loss; ATS: Loss
Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap. Michigan... more words would only do harm. Now they face Notre Dame w/o Henne. Good luck with that.

TCU +9 vs. Texas
Texas 34, TCU 13
SU: Loss; ATS: Loss
Crap! If I watched ESPN I would've known that TCU was one of this week's "sexy" picks by everybody for an Upset Special. I didn't find out until Thursday evening after the Tasty Nuggets were sent out so I was stuck with the rest of the ooh-look-at-me-and-how-much-Im-smarter-than-everybody else schmucks in our losing losingness. Krikey.

UNLV +25 vs. Wisconsin
Wisconsin 20, UNLV 13
SU: Won; ATS: Won
Big Ten is weak. Ivan Drago will break them.

BYU +8.5 vs. UCLA
UCLA 27, BYU 17
SU: Won; ATS: Won
BYU almost came back to nip this one for me. They were down 20 early but then got distracted by the angel Moroni who sad unto them "Lo! Ye Mormons, beware of the Robbie Bosco Curse." But no one knew what that meant. In the confusion the Bruins put the ball past the goal line strip to accumulate the required points to cover the spread.

UAB +33.5 at Florida St.
FSU 34, UAB 24
SU: Won; ATS: Won
Somebody tell Bobby Bowden he won... barely. Then top off his tea & turn the light off since Bobbay git tired after practice & need a nap.

Week 2 Records
SU: 6-4
ATS: 3-7

Overall Records
SU: 14-6, .700
ATS: 9-11, .450

Mets Beat 'Stros, Another Key Series With Hotlanta Looms

Pedro Martinez tossed 5 shutout innings this afternoon as the Mets beat the Astros 4-1. The Mets Magic # is now at 15.

Holy F Bombs, Batman

I had my turkey, where da cranberry sauce at?

LSU's offense answered the questions about them last night... by apparently punching the askers of those questions in the mouth. They beat the doubters with giant corn dog shaped clubs. 48 points & 598 yds. of offense on the other best defense in the country. Unfrickingbelievable.

I've never seen a Virgina Tech team "not want any." But on several occasion's VaTech's defense looked downright scared. All-American LBs Hall & Adibi looked like amateurs, which they are supposed to be but they look amateurish in that small town half-ass community theater sort of way.

Sean Glennon... oof... let's just say "he ain't good."

Now there'll probably be a portion of haters & dufii out there that will inevitably have cries of "Virginia Tech was way overrated" to downplay LSU's performance but that list of "Team X is 'overrated,' " is growing mightily by the day (Michigan, Notre Dame, Texas, Auburn, Hawai'i, etc.), so at some point somebody overrated has to be misrated or they just put in a bad performance (Texas, week 1?).

Lots of delicious schadenfreude to go around on Saturday- Bama's punt returner hot-dogging allowing the Vandy guy to push him out at the 1, Auburn losing to USF in OT (Hey, WarChickens, if Auburn would've won would y'all have blamed USF's kicker for missing 4 FGs like when y'all boo-hooed over Vaughn missing 5 3 yrs. ago vs. LSU? Waaaaaaaaah), Da U getting Da Shit beat out Dem by OU & VaTech's vaunted defense made to look like Polish World War II cavalry versus Panzers.

The Big Ten continues to look majorly weak this year, Michigan looks like they've already quit on the year, Ohio St. only beat their powder puff by 18, Wisconsin struggled out in Vegas & Notre Dame looked downright pathetic again against Penn St. Yes, I know Notre Dame isn't in the Big Teneleven but they should be so I could then call it the Big Tentwelve. Or Big 12-2, Big 12B, Big 10(12), etc.

Next up for Da Tigaaaaaaahs, Middle Tennessee St. & let down alerts. While I don't expect them to lose against Middle Tennessee obviously, now is not the time for LSU to start basking in
their limelight or results, so strap it on, back to business on monday & let's end up treating Middle Tennessee like the I-A bottom of the barrel fungus they are!

P.S. Also really enjoyed the Ryan Perillucks Tim Tebow fake run pass for a TD. Ohhhhh snap we gots our Tim Tebow in Da House.

P.S.S. For a crappy running back, The White Rhino, Jacob Hester, is the fricking man.

Tasty Nuggets, Edition 2

Bama -4 at Vanderbilt- The Opelika Oracle, a fictional newspaper, has already awarded Nick Saban & Bama a 13th National Title after Bama's 52-6 blowout over Western Carolina in their opener. Jerry DeWitt, writer, said to be channeling Paul Bear Bryant, said "What? A woman & a black man running for president? Interesting." Now the Crimson Tide goes into Opryland to face Steve Martin's Commodores. With Nicole Richie having legal troubles & rehab issues, this will no doubt be a distraction for the Commodores.... B/c Lionel Richie used to be in the Commodores? Get it? Alabama 27, Vanderbilt 21, National Titles 13, no wait the Paul Bear Bryant Junior High paper just awarded another one, 14...

Saban does it all for the nookie,
so we can have that cookie

Auburn - 7 over USF- Staying in the state of Hell, the Wartigersmen move on from their lackluster performance against K St. to baatle upstart USF, which is not the University of San Francisco. USF gave West Virginia all sorts of trouble in their upset of them last year, so don't think USF will be awed by SEC speed. In fact, they'll make another upset bid in this one but Al Forde will save the day yet again for Auburn when on review of a play for a spot on 3rd & inches, mysteriously awards 14 points to Auburn. Don't look past the Bulls, Plaintigereagles. Technically speaking USF is #35 in the AP Poll, if those things matter to you. Auburn 26, USF 14

Interesting spelling of "Tigers," Auburn's mascot

Boise St. -3 over Wazzou- Boise even without, Dr. Z will have enough weapons to handle Wazzou. In fact, they may still put plenty of points up the Wazzou. Ok, Boise, you made noise for several years, you wanna be treated like big time, go out & beat Wazzou. On the way home stop at the Acme Vacuum Company in Walla Walla, Washington. Boise St. 31, Wazzou 21

Walla Walla county gonna make you Holla Holla

Troy + 27 at Florida- Think I've found the early season pony to ride until they toss me- Troy. 4 TD spread & NCAA 08 had the UF-Troy game come out UF 28, Troy 7. Works for me. Tim Tebow cures tuberculosis in the 3rd quarter. Florida 28, Troy 7

Tim Tebow's cure for tuberculosis is costly... as in your sexuality

Virginia Tech +13 LSU- Ok, if Vegas hands out an opening line of +13 on this game, I want that one. I mean if I were to still bet online & put in a bet, unlike the track, you get the line at time of purchase not at post time. So my imaginary bookie took the opening line of +13. Anybody for some flightless bird on saturday? Dupuy? Get the fryer ready for some fried turkey. 2 more things: 1. There's a dance called the Hokey Pokey. I ran across a blog response that mentioned that Michael Vick is now the Hokey IN the Pokey. That's gold, Jerry... Gold! 2. Despite the tragedy at VaTech, that does not preclude me from reminding all once again that the skin on Frank Beamer's neck was grafted from ass. As in but-tocks. LSU 20, Virginia Tech 13

Michael Vick's interesting mug shot

Michigan -6 over Oregon- Want to see a lot of p.o'd Left Coasters? Go try & cut some trees down. After that, what will cause Left Coasters to moan in self-pity is when Michigan bounces back to knock off the Ducks. How do I know that's going to happen? B/c if Michiganh! loses to the Ducks, Carr's gone. So he'll have the Wolverines motivated to go on saturday. Never underestimate a weasly man with his livelihood on the line. Michigan 31, Oregon 24

Lloyd Carr will not answer anymore questions about
Appalachian St.!!!

TCU +9 vs. Texas- Despite TCU now being a mid-major, this game will harken back to days of yore. Those ancient days when Reagan was president & there was still a SWC. Back in the olden days when wishbones & option I offenses still littered the plains & dust bowls of Texas & the Great Plains. Other than that, place the obligatory sexual innuendo about the Horned Frogs & you got yourself an upset sammich waiting to happen. Can TCU knock of UT like they did OU? OU didn't know? You betta ask somebody... TCU 24, Texas 23

All the colors of the P.C. Rainbow can be Horny Toads

UNLV +25 vs. Wisconsin- Ok, riddle me this Batmen... why would you send kids to Vegas in the beginning of the season? I have images of the part in Pinocchio where Pinocchio visits the carnival island where there's no parents or rules & he gets in all sorts of trouble. Sending a decent team with young men TO Vegas can't be a good thing. Not with 4 scores to cover. Don't let BadgerBadgerBadger hanging 42 on Wazzou fool you either. Wisconsin 31, UNLV 17

Pinocchio & the Cheese-eatin' Lutherans from
Wisconsin, beware the temptations of Vegas

BYU +8.5 vs. UCLA- Pac10 wimpy bias pick in this one. Mormons, no caffeine, Big Love, Jesus' 2nd, no 3rd, no 2nd coming? Who knows, who cares? UCLA 34, BYU 28

Brigham Young demands BYU play well
against the fornicators & caffeine drinkers
of UCLA

UAB +33.5 vs. FSU- Call me a sucker but unless Drew Weatherford gets might good over this past week, FSU won't beat UAB by 33.5. I might be a sucker but Drew Weatherford is "teh suck." Or maybe he's just inheriting Charlie Whitehurst's overrated ACC piece of crap QB mantle. Or I could be totally wrong... about the pick, b/c Charlie Whitehurst & Drew Weatherford are/were definitely overrated pieces of crap. FSU 34, UAB 14

Pac-Man says, "Drew Weatherford, suckz!"

Something Mississippi State Might Win

The Lowsman, which I have just discovered. Awesome. Except I resent the fact as an LSU fan people are only talking about Henig's 6 INTs. Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllo, he also fumbled on a 4th & 2 thank you, very little. Giving us 7 turnovers.

Sundry Sport Tidbit Type Things

The Mets rested several players last night & got dropped 7-zip by the Reds. John Maine picked up the loss & drops to 14-9.

With the Braves & Phillies beating up on each other, the Mets lead is back to 5 games in the East & their magic number is 19. Fucking magic!

Arsenal has started brightly in their EPL campaign with 3 wins & a draw in their 1st 4 matches. The only points dropped so far was to Blackburn on Jens Lehmann's goalkeeping gaffe gifting Blackburn the tying goal.

The young Arsenal side so far are showing much more determination on the pitch in their initial games than they have in previous seasons especially against the like of physical sides such as Blackburn. They're also getting more goals from midfield which is definitely a good thing. Bodes well for them this season as they seek to better their 2 consecutive "disappointing" 4th place EPL finishes.

Mets Got Swept By The Fillies :(

4-game set too. SUCKS. Hopefully Pedro isn't too far from returning which according to this article may not be far away. Fingers are crossed!

The Mets face Los Bravos tonight, in about 20 minutes, in fact. John Maine takes the mound for the Mets.

I'll probably be flipping back & forth between the Washington-Syracuse matchup on ESPN & the John Curtis-Mandeville LHSAA matchup on CST tonight. Go Patriots!

LSU Gets 6 Oskies, Sink Slytanic

Brandon LaFell got da hitz that'll snap yo neck

LSU led by a dominating D pounded Moo State last night in the rain, 45-0. Led by a defense that got 6 turnovers thanks to continually inept Moo St. QB, Mark Henig & helped along aby a subpar offense, the Tigahs capitalized on all Mississippi St. mistakes to the tune of said 45 pts.

Now, I know a lot of Purple & Gold Tiger Nation will be boo-hooing over the lack of offense shown but we also have to remember that Moo State's defense is a pretty decent bunch unlike they're offense. A lot of people are talking about Henig's 6 INTs as gifts but come on, even if he only throws, say 2 INTs which would've been expected against the caliber of defense of LSU, instead of 45-0, perhaps LSU "only " wins 34-0 or 31-0.

To me, to think that somehow the scoreline is overinflated b/c of 6 turnovers is either disingenuous or just plain "hating," as the KiDdIeZ would say. But it always amuses me, when you play a crap team, then beat them like the crap they are, that everybody starts chiming in with "oh but you didn't play a good team," but if you were to struggle to beat said crap team then the same "experts" would still pooh-pooh yoou saying that you aren't that good b/c you didn't beat the crap out of the crap team. Can't win either way...

I'll be the 1st to admit, Flynn wasn't at all impressive (unless comparing to Henig), the running game look pedestrian & the OL looked iffy. Early Doucet was the only offensive player I could say I was impressed or was pleased or better with his performance.

The defense was outstanding, especially the secondary & the line. Yes, Henig sucks, but god damnit, the DBs still have to be in the right spots to pick off passes, errant or otherwise. Steltz came up with an oskie hat-trick.

Anyway, supposedly there's some rumors about LSU only running some basic, vanilla offense against Moo State while saving the super secret double probation plays for their upcoming slugfest with Virginia Tech. Who knows? Anywho, all pts. no matter how begotten in that matchup nextweek, will be at an utter premium. 1st one to double digits may win that one.

2007 Tasty Nuggets, Edition 1B

Mmmmmmmm.... Tasty!

Yes, folks, it is time... the time we've all been eagerly waiting for like kids with cookie crumbs falling from ourmouths on Christmas morning ready to tear into the gifts we'd be done playing with in 2 days. FOOOOOOOOOOOOZBALL.

1st off, as always, quick rundown for the newbies on the list- ten 10 picks I think are some of the bst per week but concentrating on the SEC, where the real men play unlike, ahem, powerhouses like Grambling were Gods play.... (tongue removed from cheek) But as we all know the Gods use mortal men as pawns in their nefarious cosmic games, so we all don't like them. Moving on...

If you're easily offended, go away. Come back when you fix your ACLU bunched panties & can take it like a man.

Last Year's Record(s) (ATS is "against the spread" & LOW is "lock of the week")

------------------------------

Straight Up: 99-36 (.733)

ATS: 74-56-5 (.567; thanks again Championship week nosedive!)

LOW: 8-6 (.571)

LSU -17 over Mississippi St.- Boy, it's a good thing LSU is playing MSU (S) instead of Grambling! I'd be scared... Scared to play in a rickety stadium with rocks on the field... Take your pictures now, for this is perhaps the farewell voyage of the S.S. Slytanic. Cowbellers may be fed up with Sylvester Croom despite the hypnotizing power of his walrusesque mustache & may sack him after the season. See? I used "sack" like the English journalists to show off my multicultural journalistic sesquipedalianism. Hurrah for pomposity! LSU 31, Mississippi St. 13

Beware of the icebergs known as "Glenn Dorsey & Tyson Jackson"

Troy +24 at Arkansas- Despite Humanity Advanced, Trojans Lite beat the 24 & causes Arkansas to be in for some ribbing. Get it? Trojans? Ribbed? Hello? Go kick some puppies, you killjoys. Arkansas 34, Troy 20

This. Is. Sparta! Wait, I'm sorry...
This. Is. Troy!

Auburn -13.5 over Kansas St.- I usually always pick against Auburn in the opener since they tend to be slow starters. Not this year, I'll give the 13.5 to K. St. which is a school started by Nolan Ryan. Get it? Ks.... BTW, good luck with that kiss of death of my endorsement, Auburn Auburn 30, Kansas St. 14

Nolan Ryan giving Robin Ventura the business.
Robin Ventura went to... Oklahoma State

Tennessee +6 vs. California- Despite being held in custody from an order by a 9th Circuit Judge for violation of separation of church & state & a heretofor unknown clause against wearing hunter's orange in an enviro-nazi district, the Vols & Phil Phulmer triumph over the Berkeley Bears when Cal players suddenly find Jesus which sends the atheists in Berkeley into a tizzy & the Cal players get sudden obesity from eating Fulmer's donuts. Tennessee 24, Mexifornia 21

Ancient map showing the sites of Sodom & Gomorrah

UTEP +3 vs. New Mexico- It was once written that the Egyptian Pharoah, Ahmenhotep had a nephew who forsake his Egyptian homeland & set sail across the seas in search of a new home. The Egyptians mocked him & thought he had perished into the vast oceans or was taken by one of its many creatures or denizens of the sea. Nay, there were wrong. That nehpews name was UTEP & he found a new land where he established a school in his name, UTEP. Saturday just so happens to be the anniversary date of this imaginary man, UTEP, his founding of the school UTEP 35, New Mexico 34

A page from UTEP's playbook.

Notre Dame -2.5 over Georgia Tech- Despite GaTech finally rid of Reggie Ball & his immense talent for snatching defeats from the jaws of victory & with the game being played in South Bend & their meddling trickster spirits, the Golden Domers & their Illimunati conspiracy rolls on as offensive genius guru master sensai, Charlie Weis puts in...... uhhhh... somebody besides Emu Clausen & he rips off a stellar 19 for 45 for 260 yds. 3 TDs & 3 INT performance which automatically vaults him into the lead for the Heisman since everybody knows that Notre Dame players are automatic legends. Notre Dame 27, Georgia Tech 17

Notre Dame's trophy... named after a Georgia Tech player

Idaho +45 1/2 vs. USC- I know I'm supposed to have taken my ESPN pill but I refused & my indoctrinative orb's light was burned out, so to thumb my nose at ESPN's Orwellian control of college football as a subsidiary of Gloved Rat Globalcorp (credit: EDSBS), I say, sure! I'm a sucker! I'll take the 45 1/2! Learn me that this pick is doubleplusbad, Globalcorp! USC 56, Idaho 17

Song girls... stare into their eyes to be hypnotized by Gloved Rat Globalcorp

East Carolina +27.5 vs. Virginia Tech- Sorry, I ain't on the solidarity with Va Tech bandwagon. Not when I think that the situaiton was a perfect example for an argument against stricter gun control since Cho proved yet again that criminals don't follow laws no matter what you write & that stricter laws only hurt law abiding citizens & increase the scope of those who are now in violation of a law... anywho, Sean Glennon 5ucks.... big time. Virginia Tech 31, East Carolina 7

Sean Glennon may need a gun to protect himself against LSU's Defense

Oklahoma St. +6.5 vs. Georgia- Despite Matt Stafford giving fat kids everywhere hopes of being the man at a big time SEC skewl, his tubbyQBness can't do enough to cover the near TD spread. Okie St. does an Okie Dokie job of containing Stafford long enough to almost steal this game. Then it is told to the Socialists Windbags at the UN that Okie St. are "the cowboys" & the UN points out that Dubya is a "cowboy" which then causes global perception & media appeal to cause a backlash against Okie St in the 4th qtr. This causes much boo-hooing in the flat state of Oklahoma. Then Uga takes a big dump on the field & everybody laughs.... but Okie St. still loses... Georgia 26, Oklahoma St. 23

"President says 'bet on Gurgia' "

Clemson +3.5 vs. Florida St.- Jimbo Fisher was brought in to fix FSU's offense & improve on their Tecmo Bowl depth playcalling & he'll no doubt do that. But not yet. Early edition for the Bowden Bowl this year & Death Valley B team upsets ol' Papa. Also, C.J. Spiller has a TD that isn't counted as he outruns the speed of sound, causes a sonic boom which knocks over the officials, so they call the play back. Clemson 21, Florida St. 20

Hey diddy, we can go to the FSU circus afterwards?

No Top 25 poll the 1st week. I want to see the teams play before I pass judgement on most of them but just know that the top teams as of now are USCESPN, LSU, and of course, Grambling.