After Dinner Mints 1A

Michigan will need a wicked mint to remove THAT taste

3 days into the College Foozball season & already we have an incredible upset, interesting stories & a heaping bowl of Big 10 Schadenfreude in I-AA Appalachian St. knocking off UPI #5 Michigan. Yes, a I-AA team knocked off the same school who was bitching & moaning about not getting a re-do to play the Ohio Shit in last year's BCS Game. Michigan... enjoy the karma & poetic justice, whilst I enjoy the schadenfreude soup of your situation.

LSU -17 over Moo State
LSU 45, Moo State 0
SU= Won; ATS= Won.
Henig... wow... how bad can a I-A QB be? Not that I was complaining Thursday night. Thanks for the sixer, Henig! LSU's offense "struggled" but at least they still points on the board unlike VaTech, Notre Dame & Auburn who all had pretty pedestrian offensive performances. LSU's defense is just freaking unbelievably good. Plus, they should be jacked up to for the showcase against VaTech next weekend (9:15 ET start time! Oy vey dassa lotta pre-game cocktail time!) & will no likely want to come out & put on a show to a national audience that they are the better defense. We shall see.

Troy +24 vs. Arkansas
Arkansas 46, Troy 26
SU=Won; ATS= Won
Hooooooooooooooooray for TDs with :02 left! Shame on you ESPN Ticker for giving my heart a flutter for about 5 minutes when you showed "Arkansas 46, Troy 20." Pppppppppppplllllllllllllllllllttttttttttttt.

Auburn -13.5 over K-State
Auburn 23, K-State 13
SU= Won; ATS= Lost
See, this is a game why sometimes you just go with history rather than who the players are or what's gone on in practice, spring, camp, classes, sororistute pre-game fellatio, etc. Auburn in recent years usually has a clunker in openers. Should've stuck to my guns on that since I usually take the points against Auburn in their opener. Auburn's offense looked downright average against K-State. Brandon Cox didn't look good at all. Tate looked slow & Auburn needed their stellar defense to snatch this one away from a K-State team that frankly, outplayed Auburn on the night.

Tennessee +6 vs. California
California 45, Tennessee 31
SU= Lost; ATS= Lost
Kirkstreit, idiot... listen to me. I know this is hard to fathom for you lead-footed Midwest types but I feel I have to drill into your head what we in the SEC mean when we talk about "SEC speed." On several occasions you tried to be funny & threw out barbs about "SEC speed" & "Pac-10 speed" when talking about DeSean Jackson & Javhid Best. When we form the SEC talk about "SEC speed" we're not talking about quasi-track stars or even legit track stars at skill positions. Everybody in the country has speed at the skill positions, just like everybody has fatsos on the line. But in the SEC, where the "SEC speed" comes in is having LBers that run like RBs, DEs that are as quick as RBs & D-Lineman who could probably play as 280 lb. LBers. THAT'S SEC Speed, Kirkstreit! Ass! With that said, Cal's skill players have TONs of speed & better still, a lot of elusiveness. They looked pretty good, Cal did, however they looked a bit gassed in the 3rd & early 4th & to be fair to Tennessee, UT's offense & special teams gave up the 14 points that were the difference in this one. Ainge played pretty well in spite of his hot & cold style AND broken pinky.

UTEP +3 vs. New Mexico
UTEP 10, New Mexico 6
SU= Won; ATS= Won
Hip Hip Hooray for quasi-shots in the dark!

Notre Dame -2.5 over Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech 33, Notre Dame 3
SU= Lost; ATS= Lost
I'm an idiot. I should've known. Give me the biggest I-Should've-Had-A-V8-Forehead Slap possible. I should've freaking known that without Reggie Ball to fuck things ups for the Jackets, they would've beaten the offensive genius known as Charlie Weis. Some genius. Notre Dame looked PATHETIC on offense. ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC. "waaaaah, we're young, waaaaaah we lost Brady Quinn, waaaaaaaaah." Notre Dame looked like a service academy that they steal 3 wins a year from. I haven't seen a Notre Dame team look that bad since I played LSU vs. Notre Dame on Junior Varsity level on NCAA 07 just to get the sick pleasure of thrashing Brodie Quinn & the Golden Homers. Notre Dame looked, as the KiDdIeZ would say "teh suck." Much pwnage & LULZ for GaTech yesterday.

Idaho +45.5 vs. USC
USC 38, Idaho 10
SU= Won; ATS= Won
Yeah USC packed it in early, but those are the sort of intangibles you have to think about sometimes when you roll them bones. A lot of linear thinking types probably lost some money on this one. I'm still waiting for a Booty implosion. Or did that apple fall farther from the tree than the other 2 Bootys?

East Carolina +27.5 vs. Virginia Tech
Virginia Tech 17, East Carolina 7
SU= Won; ATS= Won
I'm not old school enough to think that you have play without emotion or temper it completely. However, when you have a situation yesterday where there was as much emotion in Blacksburg yesterday, you can't let it be the only thing that drives you. Nor can you let it override your focus & concentration. It looked to me Virginia Tech thought they could just show up & the emotion & sentiment of the day would carry them through & forgot to play for the most part. Although part of that also has to do with Sean Glennon. That was the worst 22-for-33 performance I've ever seen. I was shocked to see he was 22-for-33 at the end of the day. The bulk of that had to be dumpoffs. Virginia Tech is one of those teams, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Different players, but every year- tough defense, great special teams & kick defense units that look like they'll block a kick every time an opponent lines up to punt or a kick a field goal or extra point. 1st one to double digits in LSU-VaTech wins next week, I think.

Oklahoma St. +6.5 vs. Georgia
Georgia 35, Oklahoma St. 14
SU= Won; ATS= Lost
Stafford either slimmed up some over the summer or he's a some new Victoria's Secret slimming flak jacket. He looked good last night. Uhhhh, I meant performance, yeah.


So, going into Labor Day's Bowden Bowl matchup I'm 7-2 SU, 5-4 ATS.