Bluegrass Blues

Crap. No, seriously, Crap!

Sumb1tch.

LaFell, you've got to catch the ball with consistency, dude. Reggie Nelson is gone. Forget him. Catch the damn ball. Until you do our passing offense will sputter. Although to be fair, Flynn you have to throw better deep balls too. You had LaFell on that skinny post / go route & underthrew him. No excuses for that.

Could be worse.

LSU is still in line to be able to get to Atlanta & still has a decent shot at getting in the BCS title game. But the way CFB is going this year who knows what the hell'll happen.

Lesticles' post-game comments.

Tasty Nuggets, Week 7

(smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooch) Thanks for that Kiss of Death Lou Holtz pep talk last night, Thlou Holth. What is it now? The last 4 teams you've pepped has lost? Speaking of pep, anybody remember Pep Strebeck from Dragnet? Undoubtedly an oft overlooked Tom Hanks role.

Maaaaaaan how boring was that FSU game last night? I shouldn't get too much on FSU's offensive case anymore b/c I've come to the conclusion, it's the ACC in general, that is just down right BORING. They all run the same offense it looks like to me- lead out of the I, read option, screen pass, play action jump ball, repeat. It's as boring as sitting through the full Latin mass as a kid. You know you're supposed to be there & something important is going on, but it never ends & it's excruciatingly boring. Anyhow, the ACC is BORING. One ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them & in the ACC make them BORING.

Week 6 Quick Review

Kentucky +3.5 vs. South Carolina
South Carolina 38, Kentucky 23
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

Auburn -7 over Vandy
Auburn 35, Vanderbilt 7
SU: Won; ATS: Won

LSU -9 over Florida
LSU 28, Florida 24 (Tebow, the Gainesville Kwisatz Haderach 21)
SU: Won; ATS: Lost

K-State -3 over Kansas
Kansas 30, K-State 24
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost; LOW: Lost

UAB +19 vs. Mississippi St.
Miss. St. 30, UAB 13
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Nebraska +7 vs. Mizzou
Mizzou 41, Nebraska 6
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Cincy +3.5 vs. Rutgers
Cincy 28, Rutgers 23
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Oklahoma St. +6.5 vs. Texas A&M
Texas A&M 24, Oklahoma St. 23
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

USC -39.5 over Stanford
Stanford 24, USC 23 (You've been Bootyfied, USC!)
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Notre Dame +20.5 vs. UCLA
Notre Dame 20, UCLA 6
SU: Lost; ATS: Wont

Weekly Record
SU: 4-6, .400
ATS: 5-5, .500
LOW: Won

Season Record
SU: 36-24, .600
ATS: 26-34, .433
LOW: 3-3, .500

For perspective on this year's season:

CFN.com staff writers' / contributors pick records:

Pete Fiutak- 37-23 SU, 32-28 ATS

Rich Cirminiello- 42-18 SU, 29-31 ATS

John Harris- 34-26 SU, 19-41 ATS

Matt Zemek- 41-19 SU, 33-27 ATS

CFN Msg Boards- 42-18, 28-32 ATS

WhatIfSports.com- 40-20, 27-33 ATS

Clucko the Chicken- 29-31 SU, 27-33 ATS

Hawaii -17.5 over San Jose St- Chaka, brah. Now dat dem haoles from SoCal lost, maybe da mainlanders come take a look at the Rainbow Warriors? Colt Brennan is good & all but I bet he can't strum a ukelele like Israel Kamakawiwo'ole! RIP, Braddah Iz. Hawaii 56, SJ State 31

Texas Tech -8 over Texas A&M- 2 games in a row I'm throwing my lot in with the zing pow aerial missile attack offenses. WR, Michael Crabtree is on pace to catch something like a bazillion passes, eleventy gamillion yards & about threeve dozen TD passes. It's simply stunning. And Franchione got busted for some secret $1200 a pop e-mail scheme to selected boosters. Can you say illegal gifts scheme? Bet on distraction this week! Texas Tech 41, Texas A&M 24

Oklahoma St. +4 vs. Nebraska- Hoooooooley moley has Nebraska fallen hard & fast. Like me around a cute brunette with a lilting voice & sparkly eyes.... sooooooooo pretty.... unlike Nebraska's offense these days. The Plains Coast offense ain't doin' much... fear the former Emperor Osborne, Callahan. The ghost of Turner Gill cometh for thee too... Oklahoma St. 31, Nebraska 28, Mike Gundy rants 3

Kansas -25 over Baylor- The rock band carries on to face the Baylor Bears. The Baptist Baylor Bears. Aaaah, that's some alluring alliteration. Or not. I think I was sleeping during that part in Mrs. Walker's English class. Anywho, something about Rock chalk, Jayhawk, growling bears & other references I can't come up with for this pick. Kansas 40, Baylor 13

Missouri +10.5 vs. Oklahoma- Jiminy Christmas! When did Mizzou get so damn good?! Although I have a bit of a gripe with Missouri. How the hell can you have TWO QBs named Chase? That's a dangerously high level of douchebaggery goin' on there. In fact I'm pretty sure it exceeds the EPA's douchebaggery level by 1. Not to mention there's another Chase that plays TE for them! Hey Chase, Arianna called & said the dry cleaners ruined your tennis sweater vest & that she won't be able to go pick up another one b/c there's a pedicure emergency at the women's country club. Oklahoma 27, Missouri 24

LSU -9 over Kentucky- Trap game, schmap game. Woodson ain't Tebow. In fact, he's not mobile. Which means feeding time for the D-Line after running that half-rush, DT spy scheme late last week. Dorsey still got him a meal of Tebow on 2 occasions. Unfortunately I missed the big one b/c..... ummmmm,I was unavoidably detained with a liquid expulsion emergency. Bluegrass Miracle, meet Bluegrass Thumping. LSU 30, Kentucky 17

Georgia -7 over Vandy- I dunno, Mark Richt does look an awful lot like Helen Hunt. And I'm sure he's just Mad About Matt Stafford. Get it? Lookin' at da stats, Stafford spreads the ball around very well as there is half a dozen guys who have caught 10+ passes or more. Too bad it looks like he doesn't pass around his food or the keg with the same vigor. B/c you know... he's portly. As in rotund. Not quite fat but give it a decade or two. Georgia 33, Vanderbilt 20

Miami (FL) -2.5 over Georgia Tech- I don't know why I'm even putting this game in the picks. I can't figure out the ACC for anything & they're boring as Hell anyway. Maybe I'm just hoping for Sebastian to drop another smoove Souljah Boy steppin' on me so I can go, "ohhhhhhhhh snap, go Sebastian! Go Sebastian! You an Ibis, it's your birfday, go Sebastian!" I bet dat bird snorts lines with Tony Montana. Say hel'o to ma little Ibis! Miami 23, Georgia Tech 20

Notre Dame +14 vs. Boston College- Hope I'm wrong but I tihnk Notre Dame has woken up a little... Or the Pope's tribute has finally reached the Vatican & the Illuminati operatives are finally in action. Wooooooooo, Catholicism Bowl! Go Catholics! Go Catholics! 2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar! All for the Catholics, Sit-Stand-Kneel & holler! Boston College 34, Notre Dame 31 (OT)

Illernoise -3 over Iowa- Aaaaaaah, saving [name redacted] for last. The Zook is on the cusp of taking over (or is it tainting?) the Big Teneleven. You can't see it just yet, but in about 6 years Illinois will be on probation. Book it. Jack Trudeau will weep his little Illini alumni eyes out. But regardless [name redacted] should start a rap group & dub it Illernoise b/c that's hip hop gold, Jerry. Wait, I mean platinum. B/c it's more valuable. Aw hell why stop at platinum, MC Zook & Illernoise may even floss paladium, even more valuable than platinum. Bah, where Drew Tate at? Illernoise 24, Iowa 19

The Lighest D-I Player Of All???

WOW.

Even I was a sturdy 128 when I played at John Curtis!!!! 107??? 107??? They have radio stations that have bigger numbers albeit by fractions. Go get 'em, Anders!!!

I Curse Thee, Chris Neil!

Many STDs for you this year! Genital warts! And um... general loose stool for the entire season!



Eat it, Neil! Fear The Wrath which no doubt hath now wrought! The Shiznit is expected to be out at least 4 weeks with a grade 2 shoulder separation.

Haven't seen any of the 1st 2 games but the New York Rangers have started out 1-1 with a 5-2 win over Florida & a 2-0 shutout loss to Ottawa on saturday night.

Tasty Nuggets, Week 6

Last week was super hectic & then I found out I had to leave a day early to follow some friends back to Baton Rouge for The Game.

Sorry for no Tasty Nuggets with delicious pictures until now... in fact, I still don't have any except for here. Yes, these are posted for this past weekend's games but goota keep 'em in order... After Dinner Mints later tonight.

And for those who don't get the Trogdor reference, you just have to know he is a burnin' man. Oh & that he comes in da niiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! Here:

(Woah, this has wicked dueling guitar solos!
It's like, Squeedly versus Meedley over here.
Go Squeedly!
Go Squeedly!
SQUEEDLY WINS!)

I Find This Funny

Voltaire once wrote that God is a comedian playing to an audience to afraid to laugh. This falls into that category I think. I find it humorous that two constituency groups are at odds. Save the environment! At the sake of the blind people!

Just remember many of the people who front the eco-movements are avowed anti-capitalists more concerned with scare tactics & poltiical activism than with scientific reasoning. Even one of the former founders of Greenpeace, Patrick Moore has alledged so.

Democracy In Action

I just loooooooooooove how great this country is. Once again, we get dragged down to the lowest common denominator. Numerical minority? No problem! Come to Amerika & spoil the fun for the rest of us!

When you get to be the majority remember to NOT let us do the same since we all know you won't let us pull the same crap. Au revoir, traditional America. It was fun while it lasted.

Coming soon to a region near you, the Fractured States of America.

Other Sports Quick Update

New York Rangers' new season starts on Thursday evening against the Florida Panthers. The Rangers have finalized their opening roster & I'm glad that both Marc Staal & Ryan Callahan made the 1st roster for the opening season!

No surprises in net as King Henrik & Valiquette make the team as netminders. Montoya probably would've made it except for the cap hit he'd entail for the Rangers if he made the roster.

Hopefully the Rangers can build on their late season success & go beyond their 2nd round exit to Buffalo last year.

It's almost GO time!

* * * * *

Arsenal have already played 7 EPL matches & somewhat surprisingly have 6 wins & a draw to head the EPL heading into October.

Without Thierry Henry who was sold off to Barca in August too. A case of addition by subtraction perhaps? No doubting Thierry Henry was obviously one of the best strikers in the world during his time at Arsenal but the Gunners also had a propensity to rely too much on his goalscoring perhaps. So now with him not in the side maybe it's a case of the younger Gunners stepping up & assuming more of the leadership & goalscoring roles, especially Cesc Fabregas.

They've also made a great start in the Champions' League by beating other favorite in their group to advance, Sevilla, 3-0 & face Romanian side Steaua Bucharest tonight.

All goalz are belonging to Cesc Fabregas

METS CHOKE

Like a rookie hooker trying to deep throat John Holmes, the Mets CHOKED.

I miss the old crappy showtune type songs

Worst part about losing?
Being put to a video for a dinky ballad by Fuel!!!

After Dinner Mints, Week 5

Well, .500 in both SU & ATS this week which was incredibly interesting & kooky with all the upsets & top 10 team losses. I think I read 7 of the top 13 lost? That's caaaaaawazy!

USF +7 West Virginia
USF 21, West Virginia 13
SU: Won; ATS: Won
Look alive! USF is currently the best collegiate team in Florida! Whodathunkit?!

Arizona St. -14.5 over Stanford
Arizona St. 41, Stanford 3
SU: Won; ATS: Won; LOW: Won

Auburn +18 vs. Florida
Auburn 20, Florida 17
SU: Lost; ATS: Won

Bama +2.5 vs. FSU
Florida St. 21, Bama 14
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost
Two losses in a row for Savior Saban... Bwahahahahahaha. Tuscalosers!

LSU -40 over Tulane
LSU 34, Tulane 9
SU: Won; ATS: Lost
Sleepy time over! LSU absolutely slept walked through the Tulane game. I blame those hypnotic & awful pelican logos on those weird purple unis... Die White Helmets!

Louisville -8 over NC State
Louisville 29, NC State 10
SU: Won; ATS: Won
Stop the presses! Louisville's D held somebody under 20!!!!

Troy -12.5 over ULM
Troy 24, ULM 7
SU: Won; ATS: Won

Penn St. -3 over Illinois
Illinois 27, Penn St. 20
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK... I should've gone with my gut & picked the ZOOKster!

Oregon -4.5 over Cal
California 31, Oregon 24
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost

Clemson -3 over Georgia Tech
Georgia Tech 13, Clemson
SU: Lost; ATS: Lost
Geez, can't figure the ACC out!!!

Weekly Record
SU: 5-5, .500
ATS: 5-5, .500
LOW: Won

Season Record
SU: 32-18, .640
ATS: 21-29, .420
LOW: 3-2, .600