Holy crapballs, I like Sean Avery of the New York Rangers. A lot. I mean I don't like Sean Avery but I like him in a strictly admirable, totally platonic, gosh darnit I wish I was him kind of way.I like the fact that everybody else in the league hates him. I like the fact that he's an abbrasive, trash talking shit starter. I like the fact that he's listed at 5-10 185 but plays & hits players like he's 6-2 220. I like the fact that he hits anything that moves & chips in goals too. I like the fact that he's resparked the Rangers' playoffs hopes & thus they are only 2 points away from clinching a spot with 3 games remaining. I like the fact that Sean Avery is a lucky bastard who has bedded Elisha Cuthbert.
In short... I have a man-crush on Sean Avery, #16 of the New York Rangers... so much so, I actually recently ordered a Rangers jersey with his name & number on it...
His stellar perfomance last night in a 7-2 rout of da Maple Leafs (you are the wurst kind of leafs on earth!) was a perfect example of why you love him if he's on your team & absolutely HATE him if he's not. He scored 2 goals, chipped in with an assist & won a fight with Darcy Tucker & generally hit everything that came within a 3 ft. radius of him including a basset hound that got loose in the 2nd intermission & some annoying brat that was on a sugar buzz & who needed to be put in timeout anyway. Rumor has it that he also cured smallpox after the game by slamming it into the boards.
Avery Pwning Darcy Tucker...Pinned! Winnah, winnah, chicken dinnah!
And as it was in the beginning & forever more- hot babes dig badasses 
Hey, Sean, what do you say to all the haters?
Well played, sir!
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