Stop the presses. In one of the most unexpected upsets of all-time, Nancy Pelosi has beaten Hillary Rodham Clinton to being the 1st woman president of the US in history. President Pelosi marked her shocking victory by taking a "diplomatic" trip to Syria to meet with some Syrian leader who probably beats his wives.
President Pelosi used the trip to make a marked turnaround of US foreign policy towards Syria which had previously been shunned by the former Bush Administration & opened "diplomatic" dialogue with Syria. The US had previously declined diplomatic relations with Syria under the Bush Administration b/c of Syria's alledged backing of Hamas, which as everybody knows is a fast food chain that only serves food to beautiful, angelic children who do nothing but laugh & fill their parents' lives with joy & wonderment. In a surprising turn of events however, the US has turned 180 degrees with Syria with President Pelosi now calling the shots.
President Pelosi was quoted as saying, "I'm so glad to have this opportunity to mend wounds & heal the burned bridges of our relations on Syria. It's time we forget the sins of the present past done to us & to move forward facing backwards with appeasement & cowardice. I want to thank Babar Al Ibn Wathufuq of Syria for his most gracious & welcoming dialogue with the myself & the US... Eat me, Hillary. I won, you lose. You are pwn3d!"
Senator Clinton could not be reached for comment as she was off on a junket to Oakland learning hip hop lingo so as to continue the Clinton legacy of being the 1st Black President(s) & being able to relate to black people, but her spokesperson later released a statement saying, "You can guarantee Queen Hillary has Pelosi squarely in her sights now. The 1st reign of a woman president of the United States of America was ordained by none other than the all powerful Creator himself. Mrs. Pelosi has gone against the will of the people, the nation, black people, indeed Creation itself. The hounds of Hell are being prepped, it's almost time to hunt. This is war."
President Pelosi... on the lookout for Hell Hounds... and black people.
No comments:
Post a Comment