Nancy Pelosi Promises Sharia In America

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has promised to bring sharia law to the United States after meeting with the President of Dherksyria, Dikhed Al-Fuqwad on tuesday. The move comes in an effort by Democrats' to combat what they claim is "the President's domestic spying program." The program has been in effect for several months under the authority of the National Information & Terrorist Watch International Team, commonly referred to as NITWIT. NITWIT's program has been increasingly unpopular & coming under increasing scrutiny ever since the executive order to begin phone & wiretaps domestically in hopes of catching terrorist sleeper cells that may be operating within the country.

"I feel that wearing this introductory burqa kit is a good show of solidarity with Middle Eastern culture & to show that we Americans can apologize & kowtow to any country that may have been offended by President Bush's aggresive foreign policy in this region. We hope to bring a much stricter dress code to American women b/c after all, America isn't about being free anymore, it's about pleasing boisterous minority groups, especially those of darker skin ethnicities that may or may not wish to harm us & to corner the market on those voting blocs as they assimilate into the American political process so that oligarchs like myself can continue to be in power & run the country into the ground," Pelosi was quoted as saying. "George Bush may not like black people but we in the Democratic party certainly do, especially when they're under us. We'll also soon like Muslims. Whatever gets us elected."

"Also, by wearing burqas no American can easily be indentified who they are when they leave their homes. So King Bush will have to come up with something new to spy on Americans."

"Mrs. Pelosi, makes me want to go boom-boom sexytime in burqa," commented Al-Fuqwad. "Soon all your females are belong to us America. Time we can not wait for to beat, rape & surgery perform things as cliteroctomies so as subservient make women which is Shariah way."

With that, Mrs. Pelosi finished with, "Don't worry. We've been assured that me & Mrs. Clinton will be spared. In fact, we'll be having sex change operations to become men to helpe enslave, I mean, to help the cultural transition to 2nd class citizens under Sharia. Fear not ladies! No more wasting money on clothes or worrying what shoes to wear with an outfit!"

A salaam alaikum, Mrs. Pelosi!