Friday, April 27, 2007

Sean Avery Facts, Edition #5

81. Sean Avery once won a gold medal in every single Olympic event in both the summer & winter games.

82. When Hinduism refers to the Supreme Person having 16 parts, they are referring to Sean Avery.

83. Streetworkers don't actually use jack hammers to breakup concrete, Sean Avery just punches it.

84. Sean Avery has lived 16 times before as: 1. Buddha, 2. Moses, 3. Jesus, 4. Richard the Lionheart, 5. William Wallace, 6. Charlemagne, 7. Julius Caesar, 8. Napoleon Bonaparte, 9. General Patton, 10. Alexander the Great, 11. Tutankhamen, 12. Achilles, 13. Michael Jordan, 14. Wayne Gretzky, 15. Babe Ruth & 16. Billy the Kid

85. Sean Avery was the 16th person to sign the Declaration of Independence.

86. Global warming is accelerated when Sean Avery gets pissed off.

87. Sean Avery built the Great Wall of China in 1916.

88. The U.S. Department of Sean Avery is a department started to trash talk to other crappy nations which includes all of them except for the U.S.

89. The U.S. Air Force didn't drop an atomic bomb on Hiroshima or Nagasaki in 1945. They dropped 2 water balloons filled with liquid distilled from Sean Avery's anger.

90. When something's strange in your neighborhood, don't call Ghostbusters, call Sean Avery.

91. The starship Enterprise boldly goes where no man has gone before but Sean Avery boldly pwns where no man has pwn3d before.

92. The 1st extraterrestrial message received & translated simply stated, "Sean Avery Rulez."

93. Sean Avery built the Great Pyramid at Giza in 16 B.C.

94. Sean Avery could fix the leaning tower of Pisa, he just doesn't feel like doing it.

95. Shooting 16 under par in golf is called "shooting a Sean Avery."

96. A 16 cent piece is called a Seanie

97. A Sean Avery stone of measurement is 16 lbs.

98. Seanuary is the 16th month of the year.

99. Averymas is a holy day that is celebrated on Seanuary 16th & is the holiest day of the year in Averyianity.

100. Sean Avery led the Averyites out of Egypt in 1616 B.C.

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